I had the talk with my bf of almost 6 years about moving in together. We live 2 hours away from each other because he is in the military and living on base. I see him every chance that I can get. But when I talked about it he told me he was worried about the bills and everything else. He said he doesn’t want to live together just yet because we don’t worry about paying for bills, food, medical or anything else right now. He wants to move in together about 2 years from now. Every time I go to see him I sometimes get upset because I basically have to go back to reality and the same for him. I just like being able to wake up and sleep next to the person that I love deeply. But I honestly and truly don’t want to live with my parents anymore😫 what do I do in this situation.

Are you able to move out by yourself?

How old are you guys?

He seems to be thinking realistically: you have to take in to account whether or not you can afford to move out. Rent, bills, etc really stacks up. You can possibly look in to moving out on your own or with roommates if you can afford it.

@taylinnn19 We are both in our 20s.

he’s thinking about this rationally. moving out before you’re financially ready can really screw you up down the line, you can get into serious debt and even possibly get evictions on your record. can you move out by yourself? look for a roommate possibly?

Like early or late haha? I can see both sides forsure. 6 years is a long time but if you’re eager to leave your parents move out on your own!

Are you both financially stable to be moving out together? Moving with your SO is really something you need to think about

@soymelk Yeah I get what you’re saying. He even told me he is thinking about it realistically. I’m just not I guess. I’m in college but my parents are paying for it. I just need to not think about it I guess.

@taylinnn19 We are both 20, sorry for not correcting myself.

He could possibly get a $1,200 housing allowance for off base. But he still doesn’t want to pay large bills and rent right now.

I would be frustrated as well, but he sounds responsible and thinking everything threw, and hey 2 years after 6 together will go by quick!

Yeah. I’m just not really thinking about everything. I just really love him lol. It’s silly to say.

In the mean time you could start making a fun Pinterest full of ideas if you haven’t:)

I’d say welcome to the real world where it’s normal to pay for bills yourself and not have the government pay for it. 6 years is a really long time to be together but you guys have been dating since 14 so it’s a bit different. If he said 2 years from now, that isn’t that crazy and that gives you the time to save up. Obviously I understand your frustration but you can still visit him frequently as 2h is not much.

Definitely get a good paying job first and think about being independent. You don’t want to go from relying on your parents for everything to relying on your boyfriend for everything. It’s a great feeling get the keys to your own place and not have to worry about cleaning up after anyone.

Thank you everyone. It’s just kind of an emotional moment because it’s almost 6 years and I really want to be with him a lot more then just 2 days. I appreciate everyone’s help.

I’m going to sound like such a hypocrite right now because I’m 21 and have lived with my boyfriend for a year now, but I completely agree with @lumiere @Minajxo. Living on your own is expensive. I wouldn’t be able to do it if it weren’t for my parents helping me because I’m a full time college student. Get a good paying, secure job and save money first. I know 6 years is a long time, but you’re both 20 and still so young so don’t rush this if you don’t have to!

Thanks. I’ve had a low paying job for about 4 months now. I don’t get paid a whole lot. But we talked more and just decided to wait a few and see how things are then. I know I was rushing but it’s hard being away from someone and having to wait till the weekend to see them lol. Ik I sound like such a wuss.

@xxtracyxx Also in general, I think it’s a bad idea to try to add an extra cost of rent when you’re still reliant on your parents for money. I think what your boyfriend is saying is very rational!