Hello, I’m reaching out to those who are or have been in relationships with someone who is suicidal. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for over 2 years now. We just graduated high school and ever since we got out he’s changed a lot with his mental health. I don’t know how to help him. He doesn’t want to try anything, he’s currently in therapy, having his second call tomorrow, but he’s in it forcefully. His family and friends know about this and are just as confused and scared. I love him and don’t want to part ways. He feels like I deserve better than this and wants to break up for my sake. It seems like he’s tired and just can’t provide for our relationship like he has before. All I want is the best for him. Does anyone know anything that I can do? He doesn’t like talking about methods to help himself or anything. He’s told me and his mom that he wants to improve but he gets episodes in which he just looses interest in everything. He has anger issues aswell which makes it even more complicated to get through him. All inquiries and questions are welcome I just need help understanding what I can do to make his life easier, thank you.

It sounds sad but you really can’t do anything other than being there for him when he needs you. The only person who can help him, is himself. Ultimately he will have to accept that things will only get better if he wants it to get better. Therapy will only work if he wants to help himself. I know it’s hard but do not lose yourself because of what’s happening with him. Prioritise your own happiness. You’re burdening yourself pretty heavily by taking this responsibility upon yourself.

You can care for someone without being in a relationship with them. It's exactly as he said, he doesn't have the capacity to contribute to your relationship anymore because of what he's going through. You can support him without subjecting yourself to a relationship that's not working or taking responsibility for him. I agree with @Yi_eune as well, you can encourage and support him to get help but he has to want to improve too. Make sure you're also looking after your mental health at this time. As a side note probably best to include a trigger warning for posts about suicidality in the future.

@Yi_eune Thank you! I’ll keep trying, it’s been pretty hard to stay positive but in the end It’s what he needs. I know that I have to put myself first and i’m trying to, I appreciate your advice 🫶

@aurielle Thank you, I’ll be sure to include a trigger warning next if i decide to tweet. And A lot of the things that he says about breaking up he back tracks. Like he’ll be like we should break up at one hour and then say we shouldn’t. A lot of it is that he wants me to be treated for the person that I am and he feels like he can’t treat me with the same love and care that he had shown me in the past, which I obviously don’t expect to be the same if he’s dealing with so much on his own. A fear of mine is that he wants to get into bad habits with substances if we decide to go separate ways. I know it seems like manipulation but it isn’t like that , he smoked like once in november/december and really scared himself doing that.He hasn’t done anything remotely close to that since. He was on Ashwagandha for about a month and his mom and I, including himself feel like it’s one of the factors that caused this change in him. He wants to get better but then just looses all hope when things don’t go the way that he wants them to. I appreciate all the advice and suggestions and I’ll make sure to care for myself as well, thank you.💜