My boyfriend told me yesterday that he wants to take a 6 month break whilst traveling next year. I’ve told him I don’t want that and have even tried to come to a compromise and he isn’t budging. What do I do?

If he doesn’t budge and it’s not something you want, then the only thing you can do is break up.

If he won’t compromise and you aren’t interested in a break, then the only solution is to end the relationship.

I have suggested a compromise, we might have a breakthrough here. But we have decided to decide to what we want to do closer to the time.

What is the compromise?

If you guys do go on a break make sure you agree to the terms ahead of time. Some things to think about and discuss: •how long will the break be? •what is the goal of the break? To gain sexual or romantic experience outside the relationship? To work on developing healthy friendships outside of the relationship? To work on codependency issues that exist in the relationship? To work on mental health issues without needing to maintain a relationship at the same time? A trial separation? •will you be communicating with each other during the break? If so, how and how often? FaceTime, calls, texts, etc? •will you visit each other in person at all during this time? If so, how often? •will both of you be seeing other people romantically and/or sexually during the break? •if so what are the boundaries regarding that? Will you both pursue other romantic relationships, FWBs, or single time partners? Will you both use protection with other sex partners and get fully tested for STIs before being intimate again? •What are dealbreakers for either of you during this break? •do you both want to get back together after the break? •when will you meet up to discuss reconciliation? Will it be in person or via FaceTime or phone call? Also just want to add that if this break is for him to experience other people sexually, make sure it isn’t a one sided arrangement where you’re still committed to him and he’s out messing around. If he gets to see others, you should have the opportunity as well. If he’s bothered by that then it sounds like he just wants to go around having flings but know he has a secure relationship at home on the back burner. And that isn’t fair to you.

My idea I had was to have weekly catch-ups so we can do our own thing during the week and then tell each other what we did during the week and potentially ask what our plans are for the upcoming week.

Did you guys establish any rules or expectations like @Sams2095 mentioned?

Not yet, we haven’t. We have decided to come up with a plan closer to the time.

Make sure you establish ground rules for your break so you can avoid a Ross & Rachel style miscommunication about the break. And keep in mind that establishing the rules will probably take a lot of communication and back and forth, so I wouldn’t put it off until the last minute.

Yes DEFINITELY, that is ABSOLUTE last thing I want. If we are going to do the plan I have in my head, we need to set rules, possibly with a few exceptions. And for the rules, I mean I could write a list of an idea of rules up before we have the convo so he can see my idea and then make any adjustments to it if necessary.

@Swift99 I agree with the comments above telling you to break up. You shouldn’t have to beg him to stay with you. That’s not being in love or being in a relationship. He’s asking for a 6 month break bc it would give him an excuse to sleep around and do whatever and if you guys get back and you find out he can come back at you to say “we were on a break”. So end it with him. You will find someone better. Don’t let him drag you down

@Fruitloops yeah I agree. He wants a break so he can sleep around else he wouldn’t be so difficult about it

Idk you clearly want different things. You want loyalty and commitment and he wants to be able to sleep around when he’s away having fun 🤷🏻‍♀️ I personally would end it sooner rather than later. You deserve someone who is on the same page as you.

I agree with everyone else. You shouldn’t have to convince someone to stay with you. If he was as committed to this relationship as you are then taking a break wouldn’t have even crossed his mind. Long distance exists for a reason and plenty of people are successful with it.

We have already sorted the situation out. There are things going on in our personal lives that need to be sorted before coming to any sort of decision.

How long have you been together? I think it’s pretty wild that if you’re in a serious/long-term relationship he thinks he can just drop you and pick you back up when it’s convenient for him. 6 months isn’t a huge amount of time to do long distance if you plan to be ‘together forever’ or have been together a while, you shouldn’t have to convince him to come to a compromise, especially one when he hasn’t even agreed to not act single while he’s away. I met multiple people travelling who had partners at home, they made it work long distance because they both really wanted to.

I would definitely break up with this guy. He just wants to mess around.

@Lizzie3456 We have already sorted the situation out. There are things going on in our personal lives that need to be sorted before coming to any sort of decision.

honestly to me it sounds like he just wants to be able to do things with other people whilst travelling without feeling guilty and then return to you when he comes back like nothing happened 6 months is a very long time and lots could change whilst he is gone if i was you i would break up he doesn’t seem committed but there’s always a chance you could rekindle things once he gets back i just think 6 months is way too long for a break what if you meet someone else in that time