Please talk some sense to my overreacting head and body. Today someone from my boyfriend’s work (we work in the same circle), as our work conversation done. He joked and somehow mentioned about a lady that is single at their work place. I dunno what got into my head, tonight I brought that up to my boyfriend. The conversation goes like this : “So A is single? He asked me a couple of unrelated questions without answering. And I said “ previously you said everyone was married at your work place?” And he said this is why. I asked him “why what?” He said this is why. And I said to him, I am not jealous or anything. It just came to mind because someone brought it up, why you said everyone is married when A is not? I proceeded jokingly said.. “what are you hiding?😌” He said “ I am not hiding anything “ i was like “okay whatever “. But my head is a mess. I am tiny little upset somehow for no reason. Why do I feel this waaaaay. He told many things in life and I have no problems with them. Sometimes I joke around with the things and we both end up laughing. Please lecture me.

What is the problem with him having a coworker who is single? Maybe this is only something that happens in my country/culture, but sometimes people say things like “everyone is x or does y in work” and they don’t literally mean every single person, they just mean that it applies to almost every one/the majority of the people in the situation. I don’t think it means they’re intentionally hiding something or being misleading, it’s just a colloquial phrase/wording. Hyperbole I guess too. So personally I wouldn’t have taken his comment as a literal, solid fact. Also workplaces change and co workers move around, things change. Can you explain why this has upset you? Understanding why you feel what you feel is important in my opinion. It seems this isn’t the first time you’ve felt like this or had a strong reaction to this type of situation, judging by his reaction. Is there a reason why you can’t just talk to him about it?

@bluerose9 I am trying to understand my own feelings as well. Because I really don’t understand why I am upset. Maybe because the way he replied to me. Tbh I have no issues of him having single colleagues. And they only have like 7 workers altogether and he always talked to me about these workers. They are close. And yes, maybe. Because I like questioning, sometimes the way he answers me make me feel like he’s trying to hide something from me and decides I don’t need to know but somehow along the way, when I do get to know from someone else or something, I get upset because I didn’t know from him. Could this be this the reason why?

@Ayoomi I think you should talk to him about this again. And say what you said here, in a non accusatory way. It’s obviously bothered you a bit and communication is what relationships are built on. So don’t hold it in. Maybe give it some time to properly gather your thoughts and feelings before bringing up the conversation again

I personally think you’re being unreasonable. He likely said ‘everyone is married’ as a generalisation as most people are and it’s easier to say than to specify. You jumped to asking him if he’s hiding anything, and while you say you said it jokingly, it doesn’t come across that way. Are you sure you’ve never reacted negatively like this before? I think it’d be good to reflect.

it’s odd that he said “this is why”, i’ve taken that as a “this is why i told you they were all married”. but apart from that i do agree that you should communicate with him more about this as @bluerose9 said. why does it matter that his coworkers are or aren’t married? are you worried about something?

Honestly, yes, you did overreact. It’s like you’re trying to find something to start an argument over or trying to “catch” him even when he hasn’t done anything wrong. I agree with @Awg1 that this behaviour doesn’t just develop out of nowhere and you need some time to reflect and I think you really work on your communication skills if you want a lasting relationship.