Hi, I lost my virginity almost 10 days ago to a guy I barely knew. I feel really stupid about it. I wanted to wait for a relationship, but it just happened. We didn’t use condoms or anything, so I’ll be taking a pregnancy test in two weeks. He’s really nonchalant and doesn’t talk much. When I try to start a conversation, I feel like I’m the only one making an effort, and he only responds briefly. Two days ago, I told him that I don’t like how nonchalant he is, and he responded with “that’s just who I am.” I said that I never know what he’s feeling, and he replied “that’s how it’s supposed to be.” That made me feel really sad because I’m a chatty person and I need to know how people feel when I’m with them. I was confused and hurt? Afterwards, I blocked him because he was active but ignoring me. It felt awful, but I knew it was for the best. I don’t have feelings for him, but I feel like there’s some sort of soul tie. I don’t know what to do. Oh I probably just needed to talk about it

It sound to me like he is only interested in being between your cheeks and nothing more, you probably feel the “soul tie” because it was your first one which is normal—eventually that will fade. Personally I would just give him the same energy and move on, your future boyfriend is still out there, don’t let this somewhat bad experience ruin anything for you. You probably would have known you two are not compatible if you had gotten to know him a bit before sleeping with him like you said it’s for the best.

I don't believe in soul ties and I think it's a harmful idea. There isn't any magical connection between us and people we have sex with and your first time doesn't need to have special importance placed on it. Sometimes sex is just sex. It's okay to have meh sexual experiences and it doesn't diminish your worth or the value of any of the (hopefully much better!) sex you will have in the future

Definitely make sure you go to the dr and get tested for the full panel of sti/stds. Since you had sex without a condom you were susceptible to them. 3/4 weeks after sex is enough time I believe. If you don’t wanna get pregnant learn more about how to prevent it with condoms and bc. As far as the sex, sometimes it be like that. But as long as it was all consensual. It was good that you blocked him cause he def wasn’t gonna reciprocate what you wanted from him. You’re feelings are valid of being sad and hurt. I mean he was your first time. But seems like someone you should def move on from.

I agree with the other users, soul ties aren’t a thing. It’s normal to feel more attached/connected to someone after sex as it can be a vulnerable thing to be naked & trying stuff together but it doesn’t mean you’re meant to be together and will feel like that forever. I definitely don’t feel anything towards almost all of the guys I’ve slept with now, especially the guy I lost my virginity with. You did the right thing by blocking him. Don’t feel stupid or regret it though, every experience you have is something to learn from. Being a teenager/young adult is when you’re supposed to let loose, try different things (and people😉) and make a few mistakes, you wouldn’t be human if you didn’t. Just use condoms next time, it shouldn’t ruin the mood if they’re a decent person.

Also if it makes you feel better, I lost my virginity to a hookup, didn’t use anything either so I had to get plan b & I got chlamydia. I live to tell the tale and laugh about it though

@Awg1 Thank you so much for your reply 💛 Reading what you wrote actually made me feel a lot better. I really appreciate your honesty and advice, it made me feel less alone and more confident about moving on. Haha I will probably laugh about it in the future too.

@aurielle Wow, that’s so cool, I didn’t know so many people don’t believe in soul ties 😅 I’ve always believed in magic and stuff. And you’re right sometimes sex is just sex…maybe I just overthink it because it was my first time:)