can you be friends with benefits with your ex boyfriend of 9 years? if he says he doesn’t love you anymore.

No. Why would you want that?

I would not, personally. These situations tend to drag out feelings, tension, drama, feelings of unease. I remember hooking up with an ex after 4 months broken up and we were testing the waters again and he said “how does it feel to f someone you’re not dating” I was like.. who are you lol. This was someone I loved at the time who said he loved me, just such a messy situation to put yourself in for no good reason. There are better situations with people that you can hook up with 🤷🏻‍♀️ don’t invite mess into your life on purpose imo

There are so many people in the world you could be fwb with who are not your ex

When did you break up?

Nope.

🙅🏽‍♀️🙅🏽‍♀️🙅🏽‍♀️ definitely not. You want to stop communication so that yall can heal. You will never heal like that.

I would emotionally not be able to handle that

He wants the benefits without commitment. Get away from him 🙅🏼‍♀️🙅🏼‍♀️🙅🏼‍♀️🙅🏼‍♀️

There’s about 3.5 billion other men

@bluerose9 about a month ago

@sirenita_6_ he’s been my only body and i’ve been only his and i’m sexually frustrated and so is he so since it’s hard to have sex right away we just want to have sex on the low and that’s it

@my_life4557 don’t do it, block him and go no contact 🙅🏼‍♀️ this man just wants to use you to satisfy himself. Save yourself further heartbreak and stay very far away from him

^^ You’ll only hurt yourself by doing that. You are no longer in a relationship with him and should not be relying on each other to fulfill that need. It won’t be on the ‘low’ at all. There will be lots of emotions involved.

Just find someone else he doesn’t want u he just wants your body what’s the harsh reality go find someone that wants commitment you’ll end up hurt

@my_life4557 seems like the perfect opportunity to put yourself out there and find someone new to have sex with. If you keep having sex with your ex you will functionally end up in a relationship again with no commitment and someone who doesn't love you.

@my_life4557 having sex with him don’t make him love you again. If you’re sexually frustrated then buy some toys or put yourself out there on a dating app and find an actual friend with benefits.

Being sexually frustrated is not a reason to get involved with an ex in this way. Nothing bad will happen to you if you use some toys instead of having sex with him, in the meantime you can put yourself out there to find someone more compatible with what you want right now. But no one needs sex to the extent they’re going to put themselves in harms way. And even if you lost your virginity to him and can’t jump straight into having sex with other people, that just means you need to focus on yourself and move on from him.

Get a satisfyer 2

@my_life4557 FWB only works when there’s no feelings involved, you have major feelings involved so it’s 100% guaranteed to backfire and end up hurting you more if you do it. Don’t put yourself in a situation that is only going to hurt you, as said above go out and find a new partner or get a sex toy.

absolutely no!

update: i went and had sex with him and he said he didn’t think it was a good idea because he was gonna lead me on. Surprisingly it didn’t hurt my feelings… is that a good sign? I understood where he was coming from and told him thank you for being mature and putting your foot down.

So this was the last time I guess. I’m surprised he said no to continuing

It’s time to cut contact and move on xx

@my_life4557 sounds like he’s a decent person who wants the best for the both of you. Time to focus on yourself and move on. As said above I also recommend cutting contact entirely.