I’m having a few issues with my parents.. I moved out with my boyfriend last year and they keep asking me and my boyfriend if they can come round and have “cake and hot chocolate” and I find it a bit rude. I don’t really like people coming to my home, I haven’t had friends round and my parents have only been round about twice. It’s putting me and my boyfriend in an uncomfortable position and I know they don’t mean it to be rude but it is. It makes us feel like they still see us as children rather than adults by inviting themselves round. I’m not sure the best way to go around this as it’s awkward telling my parents how it makes me feel and it’s hard to talk to them about how I feel without them guilt tripping me.

Do you have issues with your parents or a reason to not want them to visit? If not I find it a bit weird tbh that you wouldn’t have them come round, it’s not like they’re just showing up so I don’t think it’s rude.

^ agreed. unless you have issues with your family i don’t think it’s rude. i personally am a very family oriented person and would take any opportunity to see them. if you don’t want it to be at your house there are ways to go about it such as going out for a coffee or a meal

^ I’m assuming you have a strained relationship with your parents if you think they’re rude saying they want to come over and see you. I don’t think it’s a sign that they treating you as a child, they’re just asking, so they don’t show up without warning. If you’d prefer that they didn’t come into your home you can meet them for coffee or dinner elsewhere as said above.

I don’t really have any particular issues with them apart from I felt neglected as a child but there’s no big issues with them. They’re very judgemental people and always make comments about where i live like “oh do people even go to work there” or “let’s hope no one steals your car”. It makes me uncomfortable the thought of them coming round because I don’t want them to make comments about where I live because it’s disrespectful. I go round to visit them I would just prefer it if they didn’t come round cause of all the comments they’ve made in the past and not sure how to go about telling them

@cheesybeans well that’s fair. Try suggest meeting in a cafe or restaurant or something ?

Have you spoken to them properly about how they make comments sometimes and you are worried that if you invited them they would judge your place? And that you’re worried telling them how you feel due to their response normally?

@awg1 no, I really don’t know how to bring it up. It’s really hard trying to have a conversation with them without it spiralling out of control

If they’re not capable of having a conversation on it at all and you’ve tried to address their communication issues/suggested counselling before then I’d maybe keep it straight to the point and just say ‘I’m happy to meet you elsewhere but I’m not comfortable having you come round’ - then if they try to argue take yourself out the situation (stop replying/end the call), you shouldn’t have to explain yourself if they never see reason anyway