Hi! Has anyone got any advice on interfaith relationships? My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 7 years. He is Muslim and I am agnostic not religious. He has no problem with my beliefs and doesn’t want me to change. However, his family are finding it hard to accept me and only want to meet me once I decide I can do the nikkah ceremony (Muslim marriage contract) and basically be Muslim even in name. I think it’s really unfair it has to be all on their terms, I don’t feel welcomed at all and it’s making me feel anxious about the future of this relationship. My boyfriend has problems with his family in their strictness and lack of understanding so it is a complex situation. He said he would still be with me if I don’t want to revert for the marriage but said it would be the easiest way due to his family/community. I just find this all so heavy and don’t feel like I have anyone unbiased to speak to about it or who has gone through a similar situation. I feel quite lost with it all so I would appreciate hearing similar experiences or advice if anyone has any, thank you so much for reading <3

Your feelings are 100% valid. It’s unfair for them to demand you change your identity just to meet them after 7 years together. "The easiest way" for his family shouldn't come at the cost of your peace. You deserve to be accepted for exactly who you are. Stay strong, protect your boundaries, and know you aren't alone in this. Sending so much love. 🤍

Thank you so much🤍@Manmohit

Do you have to convert or formally be Muslim in order to participate in the nikkah? And what exactly do they expect from you to "be Muslim"?

@aurielle I would have to take the shahada/convert to be Muslim in name so that I can participate in the nikkah and that the marriage would be recognised in Islam and be halal. My partner and his mum do not expect me to practice and he doesn’t expect me to identify as Muslim. He’s working on the rest of the family.

I think I need to figure out what his sister and dad expect, I think my partner needs to set those boundaries and expectations straight. I think it’s a worry on how they’ll react though

@magnolia123 to me that is less about forcing you to become Muslim and more about asking you to participate in their culture and religion.

@aurielle that’s a good perspective thank you. I would be more than happy to do that, I think I’m just worried about the principle of taking the shahada just for logistical purposes for the marriage. But I’ve heard it’s quite common?

I was taking with my friend her name is Shana she is muslim She told me that she had to convert in Muslim after her marriage Because they got married but her in laws was giving her hard time So please ask boyfriend some questions about marriage and try to talk with his parents too I am sure your boyfriend must be exhausted too in this situation

I’m sure your boyfriend simply wants to have a marriage that aligns with his culture. Similarly, I want my boyfriend to have a wedding in my culture—an Indian wedding. I’m Indian and belong to the Sikh religion, while my boyfriend is Christian. I just want him to follow some of the rituals. Have a faith everything is gonna be alright 🙃 don’t overthink just make him clear that you’re ready to follow his culture but you don’t wanna convert into Muslim same as me and boyfriend we respect each other cultures

@Manmohit thank you for the help 🙂