hello. so i just wanted to post because im really struggling currently. yesterday my boyfriend of 11 months and i mutually broke up. i’m still very much in love with him, but i wasn’t being treated the way i deserved and he refused to change. we’ve stayed friends as we live super close to each other, have mutual friends and see each other often unintentionally in public. but i don’t know how to get past this. all i want to do is move on, but it’s just so hard. i keep missing him and then remembering how unhappy i was so i just don’t even know anymore. any advice would be appreciated, thank you.

I went through the same thing. At first I was really sad and grieving for the relationship. And then as time went on, I started to get angry at how I allowed myself to be mistreated and the things he did to me. Just remember that you did the right thing by leaving a relationship where you weren’t being treated fairly. It’ll hurt a lot in the beginning, but remember that you’ll eventually be okay, you just need to get through the hard part first. I distracted myself a lot with friends and engaging in hobbies I hadn’t done in a while. At some point the sadness started to fade away and then I stopped missing him once the realisation of our relationship hit. The first couple days after a breakup are always the hardest, but remember why you made that choice. Sometimes we have to feel awful in the short term to feel better in the long term 💖

The break up is fresh so it’s normal to feel this grief, but you’ll get over it. You need time to process things and create distance. I wouldn’t recommend intentionally meeting up for a while. Remind yourself why you broke up and focus doing the things you love. Start a new hobby if you want! Take yourself out on dates and become your own best friend. And of course: also go spend time with your friends and family. I also think it’s important to know what just because you’re in the same circle you’re not forced to remain friends, that’s up for you to decide longer down the line. At the start it always seems easier to just remain friends but you wont really know whether that works out until more time has passed. And if it doesn’t that’s okay.

^even if you do decide to try to stay friends, give yourself a few months of space/no contact (as much as possible being in the same friend group) to move on properly before trying to build any friendship