Alright guys, I want to hear what YOU consider to be emotional abuse. If anyone here has a legal background, that would also be interesting to hear. So here’s some context. My best friend Emma is in a relationship with this super sh*tty guy. His name is super different and probably traceable via my Instagram so we’ll call him Kevin. When I say sh*tty, trust me, it’s an understatement. He cheated on Emma with his ex and she found out because she found their SEX TAPE on his computer, he treats her like property, controls what she wears and what she posts on Instagram, picks fights with her every single day over nothing, etc. He sucks, to put it lightly. Well I’m in the car with her right now and she was telling me how when they get in fights, he tends to call her names. She was upset with him because he told her he wanted to start being friends with this girl he used to sext and kinda have a thing with (who he lied to her about @ the beginning of the relationship and told her he’d never talked to LMAO) because he feels “bad” since he randomly cut her off and supposedly they used to be close friends. The argument supposedly wasn’t “that bad” until Emma brought up breaking up over it since he wasn’t seeing her side and he proceeded to call her a piece of sh*t, a moron, an imbecile, and an id*ot. This was absolutely shocking to me because I’ve been in some God awful relationships and I couldn’t imagine a guy directly calling me names. I had a very abusive ex and the worst thing he ever did as far as name calling was tell me I was “acting like” a b*tch. I told Emma that that alone definitely constitutes as emotional abuse but she doesn’t think it does since she was going to leave him. Please, please give me your opinions and any advice on how to talk to her about this. Even my boyfriend’s friends who work with Kevin have commented on how awful he is to her over the phone and when talking about her, yet on social media he acts like he’s madly in love with her. It’s so manipulative and unhealthy and I just don’t know what to do.

I’m in a prelaw program in Canada but in my human rights class we learned American laws as well (I saw from previous posts you’re from the USA). Here’s how it works legally: There isn’t a set rule laid out of it (it would be established in court) but it includes: intimidation, threatening physical harm to self, partner, children, or partner's family or friends, destruction of pets and property, forcing isolation from family, friends, or school or work. Subtler emotionally abusive tactics include insults, putdowns, arbitrary and unpredictable inconsistency, and gaslighting. But the problem is every state differs in terms of their abuse definitions and if they need contact for it to be abusive or psychological abuse. So it definitely depends on which state you’re in. Here’s a good resource for you: {Bx2eZ02xV} I agree it’s so manipulative what he’s doing and she definitely deserves better but unfortunately she needs to realize that for herself and until then the only thing you can do is support who she is and try to help her see it without pushing her away.

That is an extremely helpful comment! ^^^ List those things he’s done to her and ask her how she would feel if a boy was treating you that way, sometimes it’s hard to see the abuse when you’re in love with that person but try and get her to see it from another perspective and how she would feel if it were you in her place, or her mother or sister if she has one etc... it’s so sad to hear that she’s going through this, unfortunately it can take people in abusive relationships many attempts to leave or a long time to realise and you just need to be as supportive as you can, wishing you and your friend all the best x

She really needs to dump is ass