tw: mental health, suicide mention
i just need to vent, idk if i’m overreacting abt this or not.
i’ve made a few posts abt this already but basically i broke up w my boyfriend back in june due to my mental health issues. i felt this huge weight lift off from my shoulders after that, that combined w some new meds helped me get to a better spot mentally. i ended up getting together with a friend of ours in july. we all run in the same friend group.
anyway. my ex was extremely upset when finding out that i got together w our other friend. we had a talk (all 3 of us) and things are generally on good terms now.
i’ve learnt that he’s talked to a lot of ppl abt our relationship including some really personal details (the main one being that we were barely intimate for months leading up to the breakup). since he told so many ppl details abt our relationship a lot of info has spread and gotten twisted while some details remained true.
my bsf was helping running a band orientation thing for elementary school kids and she met up with our old highschool band teacher. he somehow knew that not only had i broken up w my ex and gotten w my bf now, but also that my ex and i hadn’t done anything in the months leading up to our breakup. the current narrative is also that i cheated on my ex which i absolutely didn’t. i got called a hoe for that (not by my old teacher, by a student) so that was fun.
when i first heard this i don’t think it settled in completely but now that it’s the next day it’s really upsetting to me. my old band teacher learnt this info from one of his students,,,who didn’t even go there when i was still in hs so who knows how many ppl know now. i’m a very private person and i don’t even like sharing many personal details w my friends let alone people i hardly know or my old teacher. especially such a personal detail.
i just feel so embarrassed bc from the way it was worded to me it seemed like the narrative was that i wouldn’t put out,,,but for the months leading up to the breakup i was in a terrible place mentally and wanted to k•ll myself every day. i’m in a better place mentally now but i can’t stop thinking abt how many ppl, both ppl i do and don’t know, know this extremely personal detail abt me.
i’m just really upset over this,,i don’t usually cry but i just suddenly burst into tears bc of this and i feel like i’m overreacting bc of that.