I went up to see my sisters which is about a 9 hour+ there and 9 hour back drive for Thanksgiving. I told her that I would also come for Christmas a while ago. After seeing how hard this drive was, I told her that I’m indecisive on doing that again. Then on the way back, I got a pinched nerve in my neck that ended with me in the emergency for two nights in a row. I told her I can’t come anymore and that I’m sorry. She told me to fly but I always say I don’t like to fly with my dog because I get really bad anxiety. She told me I’m a liar, selfish and basically hung up on me and told me to not talk to her. Was I wrong?

Nope, you set a perfectly reasonable boundary and she overreacted and lashed out instead of respecting it.

^ she majorly overreacted. You have several very valid and reasonable reasons for not being able to make the (very long, expensive etc) trip. Is there a reason why she couldn’t come to you?