What is it with me being scared of being happy? How do I move on with this phase? I am getting engaged. And I am scared of how true or real this is gonna be. I am close to 30, about a good age to be married.. had gone through many things in life. And now I feel like I am in constant fear that this would go wrong. I feel happy and also sad. And scared. I feel like I am not capable of being too happy. It’s like I am constantly being negative and also scared of affecting other people especially my fiancé to be.. because I am a negative person. Despite all of this, I am aware that I am this person. I overthink every simple thing. It is really hard to get out of the loop. I’ve had much empathy to everything, now I feel numb to empathy. I feel like I most often don’t care. I am easily overwhelmed. I always shut myself down by ignoring what people especially my mum, try to convince me on. Which is kinda sad, I had always felt sorry for her.

Are you in therapy? I feel like that may help.

I’m the type of person where when I have a problem I hate all the solutions I just expect a magic wand to fix my problems and make me happy and this goes for a lot of hopeless people but the hard truth is you have to take big steps no matter how scared you are but even when taking risky steps make sure you have a cushion to land on because that’s just the way life goes! I’m such a negative Nancy too dude I get it and therapy works for some people but doesn’t work for others if you need guidance and help try a therapist but if you know your problems and your self aware the hard reality is you havvverr to push yourself and stop being negative no matter the situation look for the good fix the bad life just takes a lot of work but everything will be okay! I hope I don’t sound harsh or rude I just get where you’re coming from how I’ve been moving on from the same phase is to stop overwhelming myself one index card at a time you know? Stop searching for the negative focus on the positive pretty much live in delusion lol but in a healthy way it’s hard but if you push yourself and do your best you’ll get through it. I like to “parent” myself lol if I find myself being a downer or unmotivated etc the parent me talks to myself redirects myself “calm down one thing at a time look for the good stop being so negative” these are things I’ve just found work for me I hope you find your peace and happiness just redirect yourself when you find yourself being negative wether you gotta gentle parent yourself or harsh parent yourself. Or try a therapist I hope the best for you❤️