Seeking nonjudgmental advice on helping a partner with anger issues.
I have lived with my bf for over two years and we have been together for 7. I love him very much and we have such a good relationship almost all of the time. However in the last six ish months he has gotten a new job that is causing him extra stress. Maybe once every two weeks ish he has an anger outburst about something. He gets very frustrated and starts to raise his voice, but he is talking to himself. It's not directed at me, but being in the apartment when he's angry causes me stress. I have tried to help him through these, but he said that he just wants to process them on his own and to be left alone. I try to leave him alone, but sometimes his anger materializes into slamming a door or cabinets or the dishwasher. I don't want him to break anything so I get involved and that just upsets him more. I don't know what to do. I get so anxious when he is angry and feel helpless. It makes me cry but he gets upset that I am crying.
I feel like I don't recognize the person he is when he gets so angry. I have asked him and tried to set boundaries that it is ok to be frustrated, but I am not okay with him taking it out on our things. I think he is working on it, but he knows that he has anger issues and grew up with a father who took his anger out by slamming doors, hitting pillows, etc.
He would never ever hurt me so please don't think that. I just want to help him because he is normally such a sweet and gentle man. I have never ever seen him act like this before and he has a history of depression/anxiety so I am terribly worried for him. I just want the anger to stop. I know everyone gets angry sometimes, but I have never been angry to the point he gets
