my boyfriend is a completely different person when he’s drunk/around his friends, his friends stand up for me and look after me more than him in these scenarios. And the next day he says he doesn’t remember anything. This has happened many times, everyone who witnesses the behaviour says it’s bizarre and i should break up with him. I agree but i’m just so desperate for it to work because i love him so much. He’s good when he’s sober.

Does he realise that he acts in such a way when he's in such a state? Have you and the friends communicated that to him while he is sober? Does he feel any remorse or does he just brush it off? Being intoxicated doesn't mean that it's okay to act like that and he needs to understand the consequences of his actions regardless if he remembers it or not. If he doesn't want to change, then it's best to break up. It will not improve just because you want it to unfortunately. It needs to come from him.

Red flags. I would recommend listening to what people are saying to you. You may love him but love doesn’t make up for the fact he regularly treats you badly and leaves you in vulnerable situations. Multiple people in your life telling you the same thing sets off alarm bells and should be something you take seriously . Love is not enough to hold a happy healthy relationship together, amongst other things you need mutual respect, care and consideration as well as accountability for one’s actions and behaviours, which he is lacking. You deserve better.

Have you guys discussed this and talked about him cutting back on drinking? He can drink but there's honestly no need for him to get so drunk he acts like a different person and can't remember things the next day.

Your boyfriend should not be a totally different person when he’s drunk and if people are having to defend you from his words and actions then obviously he’s being aggressive with you. Love is not enough and should not be enough in a relationship. You deserve better and you should break up with him. My ex used to be aggressive when he drank and I thought that was normal. My now boyfriend just wants to cuddle and tells me how much he loves me and how pretty I am when he’s drunk. Your bf’s behavior is not normal.

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thank you for all the help 💗