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Sep 2
16:21
Do you think it’s common to not feel as much of an impact with a compliment from your long term partner than compared to receiving a compliment from a stranger? I almost compare compliments I get from my fiance like I’m getting a compliment from my mom - it’s nice but almost expected if that makes sense? Whereas receiving compliments from strangers feels good because it’s unbiased.
 
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Sep 2
16:34
Obviously if you’re hearing the same/similar things from the same person again and again you’re going to get used to it, and having a different person say something different one time is going to stand out more. Just because it’s something new. But that doesn’t mean the compliments you’re getting from your partner again and again are any less meaningful. You’ve posted about this before, personally I think you’re overthinking and overanalysing this a bit. I do think you can decide what compliments mean more to you. You can decide what means more or less to you. You can choose to ignore some comments and not let them affect you or focus on other comments and let them dictate your thoughts. If this is something that’s kind of bothering you I think it might be a good idea to reflect on why you’re putting this much emphasis on other people’s opinions of you and their external validation.
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Sep 2
17:59
Do you not believe in the authenticity of compliments from your partner? Like do you feel they are just saying them because they're supposed to? That's kind of the only reason I can think of why you'd see strangers' compliments as better and "unbiased." I value both compliments from my partner and from strangers but in different ways. A compliment from a stranger does stand out as a random act of kindness and it definitely feels good! But a compliment from my partner is very meaningful because this is someone who knows and cares about me.
 
Sep 2
18:59
@bluerose9 @Aurielle I do think I’m overthinking this. I’m having a bad ocd flare up as of recent I do like compliments from him I think that my brain is telling me that strangers compliments feel better means I don’t love my fiancé so I’m trying to not reach out for reassurance but there’s days I slip
 
Sep 2
19:01
@Sparkles14 enjoying a compliment from a stranger does NOT mean you don't love your fiance, that's a huge jump lol. That's definitely your OCD speaking
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Sep 2
19:07
@aurielle it’s been a struggle lol I’ve actually been on this forum years ago constantly posting for reassurance with head anxiety but got off because I was taking it wayyyyy too far. Now I’m on Zoloft and it’s helped a ton but now my ocd is focusing on my relationship that has been so wonderful
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