So rant and vent right now. I probably won’t ever get married. My dad said my boyfriend isnt good enough for me and refused to give my boyfriend his blessing to marry me So what happened was that, my boyfriend came over to talk to my dad when I was gone on vacation three weeks ago. He asked for my hand in marriage and to talk to dad about him and I moving in. Dad said yes to boyfriends face about marrying me and about moving in together. Then dad called bf last Monday and changed his answer. Dad said no to bf said that can’t marry me unless boyfriend gets a better job and possibly goes to school for a degree. Boyfriend works shift work at a factory and so did my dad until dad retired. Dad dropped out of high school, he dosent have a high school or college degree because he dropped out of school to help on the farm. Boyfriend is pissed that dad said yes but then called him a day later and changed his answer. Boyfriend said that dad said quote on quote “you’re not good for my daughter, you need a better job and you need to be financially better and stable to take care of my daughter.” Like i understand that dad wants the best for me and for me to live a good life but I don’t understand how dad literally worked shift work at a factory when he was young and then he looks down on my boyfriend for doing the same thing for work. He wants my boyfriend to go back to school but school just isn’t for my boyfriend. Like sometimes people just don’t do well in school and sitting in a class room. And boyfriend dosent have the money to play for more schooling. My boyfriend graduated high school and that’s the highest form of education he had which is completely fine with me. He has ADHD and ADD which makes him not do well in school settings.

Why do you need your dad’s blessing or permission to get married?

@maeve_ , it’s just the traditional thing in my boyfriends opinion to do. Like get the blessing from the girlfriend or partners father and I just know that if we do get married with out dads blessing it might be looked at as disrespectful to get married with out his blessing

Who cares what it’s looked like though? If you guys want to get married then it’s your relationship and your life.

Listen, sometimes parents see things we can’t see. Maybe your dad has a point and he’s just looking out for you and wants what’s best for you. That’s respectable and he may be saving you from a world of heartache. But at the end of the day, it’s your life and your choices to make. You’re going to learn either way and everything is a learning experience. Don’t disregard what your dad says and thinks but also, make your own choices.

Well good thing your dad isn't marrying your boyfriend, you are.

It’s so odd how your dad is being hypocritical, criticizing your boyfriend’s job when he himself had the same one… you should make your own choice and do what makes you happy.

It’s respectful of him to ask your parents but it’s not necessary, he can propose to you anyways since it’s you that’s in the position to say yes or no to him, not your dad

It’s up to you to say yes to him, not your dad. And I get that your dad wants the best for you, but it sounds like your dad is taking out his personal regrets on your boyfriend.

Your relationship is between you two, it does not involve your dad. If you guys are happy you can really do whatever you want.

I feel like dad won’t want to attend wedding or will attend but not support my boyfriend and I. @Sams2095 @yi_eune @kW11 @xoxoaeb22 @maeve_ @Aurielle How do i navigate that feeling of not feeling supported or having someone who may not actually want to be there and accept is getting married (if boyfriend does propose)