Thoughts about discovering your boyfriend has purchased only fans content?

depends what your boundaries are in your relationship, i wouldn’t be okay with it but i also know that me and my boyfriend have boundaries around watching porn - we don’t

I would be very upset, watching porn is something I’m pretty uncomfortable with, purchasing onlyfans content is a whole other level

I am definitely not okay with my partner watching porn so I definitely wouldn’t be okay with Only fans that definitely is asking for a breakup because they are showing they don’t respect me if they need to buy that/even try to look at it.

I don’t care at all that my bf watches porn, but paying for content from a specific creator feels a bit too intentional for me

This is something me and my partner have spoken about and know would hurt the other person if one of us did this, so I would feel crushed if this happened. The main question from me to you is - have you discussed this boundary with your partner before and let them know it’s something that affects you? If not, maybe it’s time to have this conversation.

I am completely okay with porn, but at the point where money gets spent to see content of one specific creator I would not be okay with that.

You need to have a conversation with your partner about your boundaries in a relationship around this. If you've never talked about it before, he doesn't know what is or isn't okay with you. My partner and I have discussed this and I'm fine with porn and Onlyfans. In fact, even better to me if he pays for content because that's more ethical.

I wouldn’t be okay with this as all, and I’ve never told my boyfriend that he can’t do this but I don’t think he would regardless

@kw11 I think it's best to have an explicit conversation so you're both on the same page. Assuming what your partner would or wouldn't do is what leads to misunderstandings. He could be similarly thinking you'd be fine with it and you would never know unless you talk about it!

@kk_____ i would absolutely crash out

i would not be okay with it

Hi agree with the others here suggesting having a conversation about it. And when you do, try to come across as curious and neutral. If you come across as judgmental and angry he might get defensive right away. It’s okay to share your feelings and say it hurt you and you’re upset OF COURSE, but how you talk about it is important. This is how you build trust too with your partner. No one wants to be judged for something they do. I found out my fiance uses porn from time to time and it baffled me for a minute, but then I took a deep breath and just asked questions. Instead of feeling like I wasn’t enough, or he was “cheating” on me in a sense, I wanted to understand why. He told me that if he doesn’t masturbate often enough it gets painful and uncomfortable. Porn is just a vehicle to help him succeed in that so he can move on to the next thing. It’s hard to do it without porn. Now, he’s not buying only fans content and saving things to his computer… but to each their own, I guess… anyway, take this with a grain of salt as I don’t know your situation or you 😍 but the moral of my story is being curious helped me understand and only strengthened our relationship further

If ur bf is saying that its hard to do without porn then he’s most likely a porn addict..

Hmm… I don’t think so but since I don’t watch him 24/7 I couldn’t say :) whether he is or isn’t it hasn’t affected our love for each other, or our sex life. I’m comfortable with this, but I understand that’s unique to me. I don’t have insecurities about him using porn, for whatever volume of it he uses

You might be okay with it now but in the future when ur bf is still getting off to girls that are way younger than you while you age it might start to become an issue.

Again, I don’t believe that is happening. We have a very strong bond with each other and communicate well with each other. That’s what trust is about. Trust is having faith in someone. If I stopped trusting him the relationship would break down. He hasn’t given me a reason to not trust him. Thank you for sharing your perspective with me, though. I really do appreciate it. I believe that some men are doing exactly what you are describing, however, it’s not something I believe is happening in our relationship. And to be honest I have no idea the age of the girls he may or may not be watching when he does use it. We’ve actually had long conversations about how harmful porn is too society in general and the expectations it places on women. He is incredibly aware and sensitive to that and understands the impacts it has.

@GhostFaceLov she said it’s fine. There is no need to attempt to influence her security and confidence. Some people are okay with it.