Hi guys. This is very hard for me, but I need advice. Me and my boyfriend has been together for 4 months almost 5. Anyways long story short - sex hurt for me. I am not dry, and even still we have tried using lubricant to make sure that’s not the issue. Either way, it still hurt everytime. We haven’t had sex much because of this, and I have only had sex 4-5 times overall. Do I just have to keep “forcing it” to get used to it? Or do you guys have any recommendations. My boyfriend is very patient and understanding, but it’s getting frustrating for myself, since I do want to have unpainful sex.

Have you ever had non-painful sex?

No i havent, i dont really know what to do

So you need to make sure that you are comfortable when having sex otherwise you might subconsciously tense up. Make sure you’re really getting into it and doing lots of foreplay and see if that helps at all because sex shouldn’t be painful even when you are first starting to have sex

@Kolacic_ no you don’t force or get used to it, that’s just heartbreaking to read. Pain is serious and I hope you stop having sex when you feel pain. Sex is not meant to be painful, ever! Listen to your body. It’s warning you something is wrong, going along anyway is a big neglect to yourself. If sex is always painful even if you’re receiving at least 20-30 minutes of foreplay (including clitoral play, not just fingering), keep in mind some women also need mental stimulation throughout the day/week, and you’re using lubricant then it sounds like you need to see a doctor.

Are you able to used tampons or insert fingers without pain? Do you get 20/30 mins of foreplay mostly focused on your clit before trying any penetration?

Oh you guys are being so sweet thank you, and no never really been able to use tampons or fingers without pain. Foreplay we have been focusing on a lot, so maybe I should see a doctor, it’s just such a intimate topic, so it’s a little scary/embarrassing to me.

In that case I think it’s best to see a doctor! Remember they’ve seen/heard it all before, issues like this are completely normal so don’t be embarrassed☺️ I’ve never had a bad experience with medical professionals for sexual health related stuff

Okay tysm guys, I really appreciate it 🥰

I’ve experienced this, I think I had a mild cases of vaginismus, which is the vagina involuntary contracting/tightening making sex painful and difficult. I think what changed for me personally is I stopped putting so much pressure on myself for it to happen. I was so desperate to have sex, it really messed with my self esteem. Me and my boyfriend stopped trying to have penis-in-vagina sex and focused on other stuff which was far more enjoyable for me. A doctor will be able to help, you can always ask for a female doctor when you book the appointment. And googling about vaginismus might be helpful Xx