Yall idk if it’s just me. I’ve been with my bf a very long time. We’ve been discussing marriage soon. I’m trying to grow in my religion so I feel like conviction when he mentions sex. We’ve had conversations about it. But it doesnt really go anywhere. I really would prefer to wait to have sex again until after we’re married. But I really hate when he references anything regarding sex Like is that all you think about? Idk if I just dont feel any thrill because we live together or what. We were just otp and im on my way home from brunch. He goes “can I help you take your clothes off when you get here” insinuating sex. Like why are you saying this?

You said you told him this and spoken about your desire to wait until after marriage? What does he say at that moment? I feel like if you’ve expressed your feelings and he keeps saying things that make you uncomfortable then maybe he is not the one.

It sounds like you and your boyfriend are on extremely different pages about sex. If you decide this isn't something you want to do again until you are married but he is not in agreement then I don't think you're compatible.

Im starting to think so too. Some days I think we are and others I don’t. He also doesn’t seem to have the same drive that I do. Fitness has become very important to me over the years. While he just makes excuses for EVERYTHING in his life. He’s impulsive. I love trying new things, working on businesses, etc. he hasnt been consistent with just about anything outside of saving money. He knows a lot of information but doesn’t apply it to anything In his life. Im starting to believe im staying for the potential of him vs the reality. This is so heartbreaking @aurielle @yi_eune

I have been with this person for so long. It is so hard.

It sounds like this is the same person you posted about months ago who you were pretty sure you needed to break up with. Sounds like you are definitely growing in different directions, and it doesn't make sense to stay just because you've been together a long time. It is possible to have a life without them and you might be much happier.

@pearls4ever it sounds like you’re just outgrowing him and this relationship. I feel like if your resentment towards him has already started growing just by reading how you write about him, that will only get worse if you stay and is that really how you’d want to memorise this relationship?

Sounds like you both want completely different things from a relationship right now and you’re also growing apart in general. Sometimes the right decision is the hardest but it sounds like you need to put yourself first. As @Yi_eune it feels like you’re growing resentful of him and that is not a good sign. You both deserve to be a relationship with someone who wants to be with you and at this point it seems like you want him to be someone he’s not.

I agree with the others it sounds like you’ve become different people over the years and are no longer compatible. While it’s fine for you to have boundaries around sex, it’s also very reasonable for him to want a relationship with sex so it sounds better to just go your separate ways, especially as there’s other things you’re incompatible on now too.