CW: mental health, gaslighting This is a bit of a status update but it’s something that I recently discovered about myself and could potentially help others too. We’ve all read stories on here about abusive partners gaslighting their significant others to the point where they question their thoughts and reactions. I recently realized that it’s also possible to gaslight yourself and that I had been doing it for quite a while. I had been upset over some things but I kept convincing myself that I was overreacting, being irrational, and throwing things out of proportion. I actually had to ask my therapist “is this something that would make anyone else upset or am I just overreacting?” She told me that I had a right to be upset and it was only when I finally broke down in front of my boyfriend when I realized that denying my own feelings was really harmful. So if this is a thought pattern that you notice within yourself, I want to reiterate that your (and mine) feelings are valid. Listen to your thoughts and feelings and don’t discredit them. Talk to someone else about how you’re feeling (rather than bottling it up) because they can give you a second opinion. I just wanted to make this post because I feel like we as a forum can easily point out gaslighting from one person to another but it can be harder to recognize self-gaslighting.

This is so true and I recently went through a similar experience. Though I do think the other person in the situation contributed to me feeling like I wasn't "allowed" to have certain emotions or feel a particular way. But then I realized when taking a step back that my feelings were actually valid and understandable and that I had reasons for feeling the way I did. I think it's still important to recognize when your feelings are irrational or aren't emotions you want to get out of hand (like jealousy, insecurity, envy) BUT it's super important to get to the root cause of those feelings and understand where they are coming from and you can't do that if you deny or push them down rather than accept that they are happening. From there you can explore the causes and implications but I do absolutely agree that self-acceptance and validation are so important.

You are always "allowed" to feel what you feel but the next step is deciding how you are going to allow it to affect you, your actions or others around you.