girls my feelings are kinda hurt rn. my boyfriend wanted me to give him head and i told him i have to wait like 7 days after a cold sore is gone before i can. (i got one last time i was here so he knows i have them.) i even told him i cant kiss him or he will get one but he did anyways. anyway the point of this post- he asked me to give him head or whatever i said cant blah blah. this is how the convo went me: you can get cold sores down there if i give you head rn him- i dont think thats the same thing thats like herpes me: well yeah cold sores him- oh no if you have herpes im not kissing you anymore thats gross my feelings are kind of hurt rn. i understand herpes does kinda sound more severe than it really is. but now im scared he thinks im gross. it seems he doesnt think cold sores and herpes are the same thing. what do i do

Cold sores and herpes are the same virus. Cold sores are a form of herpes. But it's not a big deal, the majority of people have cold sores and got them during childhood from things like sharing drinks. He's being rude and hurtful. And is clearly uneducated about herpes, and tbh sounds like he cares more about getting his d*ck sucked than he cares about what you want/are comfortable with. Personally I wouldn't waste my time with him. But if you want to continue the relationship all you can really do is explain that his comments are super rude and hurtful, and try to educate him and explain that most people have cold sores.

@sams2095 yeah ive had cold sores for years, i know all about them. but apparently he doesn’t so what he said hurt my feelings. i even said that like 80% of people have cold sores and he didn’t believe me. and him wanting head doesnt bother me at all because i enjoy it and everything so that doesnt bother me at all. but yeah i want to explain herpes to him because i do understand that people have made herpes like a huge deal and make it seem like it’s horrible when really it isnt. but im scared to now.

He sounds really uneducated, maybe show him some reliable medical websites about cold sores and oral herpes. People freak out when they hear the word “herpes” but most of the population has oral herpes. It’s a form of the herpes virus that causes cold sores. Also if you guys have been kissing and/or sharing food and drinks it’s highly possible he already has it. You’re just trying to protect him and he’s being stupid about it

@aurielle yeah thats why I kind of understand. Herpes sounds more severe and scary I guess to people who don’t know about it. I havent had a cold sore for like 3 weeks but like the scar or whatever is still there which is annoying but he insists I kiss him while Im here for the week. And I even said if you get a cold sore don’t blame me hahaah (i was joking around with him ab it) and he was like I wont cause itll be my fault.

@sunflowers0 all you can really do is explain how hurtful the things he said are and try to educate him about it. You can send him links to websites with accurate info like Planned Parenthood, the CDC, the U.K. NHS, Scarleteen, and other reliable health websites.