So HPV is extremely common. It’s not often included in routine STI panels, it’s usually only administered alongside Pap smears. Thus, many people have HPV and don’t know it. You just happen to know it. It can spread even when condoms are being used, although condom usage makes it less likely. I was diagnosed with high risk HPV and my body cleared it within a year or two, this is the case for most people. They don’t have symptoms and it goes away. However, in a small percentage of people it can lead to cancer developing or warts.
Essentially, are you THAT much more dangerous than most sexually active people? Not really. But you do have knowledge about something that could potentially lead to negative health outcomes for someone if you were to spread it, and thus, disclosing that would be the most transparent thing to do.
I think HPV vaccines and Pap smears are more important than detection and transmission concerns, given how common it is and since it doesn’t always get tested for. Your partner may be vaccinated or able to understand how common this is and won’t shame you for it. And depending on the anatomy of the person you’re with, condoms or limiting “fluid bonding” will better protect them. I remember thinking “man I almost wish I didn’t know I had it because then I wouldn’t have to disclose it”. But ultimately if transparency is important in this relationship you might be building, then disclosing it would be the most ethical thing to do. And if it’s a hookup, being open and informing them might be the most ethical thing as well.
