Friend issue: hi everyone me and my friendship group from uni are in a bit of a problem with one of our friends in the group. We left university last year and this one friend kept in touch well and we saw her here and there until December last year and usually she’s very good at keeping in touch. Since then none of us have heard from her despite messaging and calling, on multiple platforms too. One friend got a response when she said she might get in touch with her mum to see if the friend was okay. The friend then replied saying she’s okay she’s been very busy and a lot has happened and she has been thinking about us and wants to explain soon. Anyway that text was over a month ago. Since about January, we have seen on social media that she’s been hanging out with friends from her hometown and she’s been active but not responded to us or our groupchat. Which is out of character for her. She also didn’t wish me a happy birthday which is unusual as she always used to make such a big deal of our birthdays. We don’t know what’s going on whether she’s trying to distance or if she’s struggling. She’s working a new job in a new city so she may just be very busy but it’s sad she has time for friends at home but not to reply to us for 4 months. It’s very unusual. I’ve sent multiple messages and feel at a loose end, I’ve also been travelling so it’s been hard not knowing what’s going on when halfway across the world. if anyone has any advice on what we should do id be very grateful thank you!

Sounds like for whatever reason she’s decided she doesn’t want to be friends with you guys anymore/right now. She’s clearly actively choosing that decision. My advice would be to let her go. If she comes back then see how things go then. But you’re wasting your time and energy right now trying to keep in touch with someone who does not want to be contacted. Obviously it would have been much nicer for her to communicate with you but she’s obviously decided not communicate at all. I personally think in many ways friendship breakups are worse than relationship breakups and I also have had a very close friend removing themselves from my life in a similar way so I sympathise. Focus on yourself and enjoy your travels x

^I agree, at this point you’ve established that she’s safe and you have done all you can to show her that you still want to be friends with her and fix any issue there is. Now I think it’s time to give yourselves closure and accept that she doesn’t want to be part of your lives at the moment, it’s upsetting and sh**ty but unfortunately these things happen in life especially when there’s big life changes like moving city or university. I’ve also been through friendship breakups and they suck but I did move on and have better friendships in my life anyway now!

Thank you both for the advice, I agree <3 I think there’s only so much we can do and we have to try and be at peace with that