Does anyone else have extreme anxiety about accidental pregnancy or birth control failure? (Loloestrin FE) I think I’m a perfect user. Same time every day (never been more than 30 minutes late), never missed a pill, never had antibiotics while on it or thrown up/diarrhea. But, for some reason, I have been having debilitating anxiety that it failed and I am pregnant. We use pull out (which I know does nothing but gives me some peace of mind) and have used condoms before, but I’m trying to learn to trust my birth control. Is there any way you guys cope with anxiety other than therapy? I’m trying to find a therapist already. I don’t want to abstain from sex, because I love my boyfriend so much and enjoy our time together.

I think it’s wise to include condoms again until you’ve had a chance to speak to a therapist about your pregnancy anxiety. It’s not going to help to force yourself to go through it and have this mental battle constantly.

Would it be possibly better if you were using something a little bit more long term? I know it’s hard to gain the trust of your pill but also if it helps you could always order those bulk pregnancy test strips and test each month too

@Monkeybutt63 I could do something more long term, but I’m more worried about side effects with that.. My mom has an IUD and loves it, but my grandmother (who worked in labor and delivery) is highly turning me off from that because I’ve never had a baby. I also have a harder time thinking I’d trust it, considering a lot of the failures are from medical mistakes (not inserted correctly, moving around, etc) instead of MY personal error. I don’t know if that makes sense. I also do have some of those bulk test strips, but I find myself getting anxious and taking multiple a week sometimes.. And I also always fear I tested too early and the results are me wrong, even though I know that my anxieties are irrational at times.

(I also hope nobody’s reading this and getting the same anxieties as me lol. These are my personal experiences and should not be taken as something to also be worried about, because I’m diagnosed with an anxiety disorder lol)

Multiple tests a week? That’s very serious! And definitely not normal. Please prioritise your own well being. Forcing yourself in an attempt to trust your birth control isn’t going to work and you will just spiral. Don’t do that to yourself! For now you should focus on anything that will make your experiences easier. The IUD can be used even by people who haven’t had children, so I wouldn’t take your grandmother’s advice into account with your choices. What shes saying is pretty outdated information and she is not a doctor. With this severe of an anxiety I am really surprised you aren’t in therapy already. Did you get diagnosed recently? How old are you?

@Yi_eune I am 20. I was diagnosed in the last year or 2, by the therapist I was previously seeing. I stopped seeing him for some personal reasons and I am seeking a new one now. I have never been medicated for the anxiety (but I do think my pill may be increasing the anxiety a little bit). I do know that you can get it without having children! Like I said I just don’t know if I could trust it without it being in my control entirely, if that makes sense.

Do you understand fully how the pill works? Like what does it do and how it prevents pregnancy? The way it can ever fail is either user error (but you're taking it perfectly) or if you had a gene that renders birth control ineffective and you'd find that out quite quickly if that was the case. You need to think about it logically, and maybe at some point your brain will accept that it works as intended. You're not pregnant, and haven't been pregnant... why would the pill suddenly stop working? It's doing a good job so far...

Also, you need to figure out where the anxiety is coming from and what triggers it for you. Is it social media, and the content from people saying that it failed them? It's very rare for it to fail, and people are reluctant to admit taking it incorrectly. It would be better to block/hide such content. Or is it some pregnancy related fear? It's common amongst younger people, and that fear goes down after a while usually as you mature and have a more stable and secure life environment. Often increasing your knowledge and understanding about things, helps with anxiety (for me at least).

@xNymphadora It’s definitely partially people saying it failed on social media. I had a previous tracker app for my pill that the community tab was mostly women talking about their pill babies.. Which is partially why I got this app instead. I’ve deleted all my social media this week to see if it would help anxiety, and it did a little bit. It’s more pregnancy related because I don’t want kids at all, and neither does my boyfriend. He’s planning on getting a vasectomy (he is older than me, so it wouldn’t be too young for him to choose that for himself) but we can’t afford it right now. I just don’t want a slip up, and the possibility of that terrifies me.

@xNymphadora I feel as if I am as educated as I could be on what to do and how it works. I just can always convince myself I am gonna be the one who it just doesn’t work for..

That's understandable. Especially when you know you don't want it to happen. Maybe you will feel more calm once the vasectomy is done and the checks after are clear. My anxiety can also spiral like that sometimes. But I personally kinda live by the motto that everything happens for a reason or that life will always balance itself out. It's going to be okay. Little mantras like that often make me feel better and helps me get through negative spirals that affect me so strongly. Also distracting myself with hobbies or activities that make me feel better about life and myself. Then you also feel more trusting towards everything because you're content.

@xNymphadora I appreciate your advice, thank you so much. I just love my boyfriend and would not want anything to keep us from sex, but I also know I would rather NOT have a baby.. So I am deeply invested in being a perfect user (not that it stops my anxiety all the time anyway)