Am I being reasonable?
So last night, my boyfriend went on a road trip with his bike gang (about 20-40 people) to a festival in another city. I called him, and he didn’t answer, but then he rang me back for just one second and asked if everything was okay—almost like he just wanted to make it seem like he was trying to call me.
I called him again 10 minutes later, and he ignored it. When he finally picked up, I heard women in the background. It felt like he took a while to answer because he was trying to get away from them so I wouldn’t hear, but he didn’t go far enough.
I asked why there were women there, and he said, “I don’t know, maybe they’re the girlfriends of the guys I’m with.” I asked him what he meant by “I don’t know,” and instead of answering, he just said, “I have to go, I’ll call you back.” Then a minute later, he texted, “There’s a fight going on, I’ll call you back.” But I hadn’t heard any fight in the background.
Later, he sent me a voice message saying he was in the parking lot waiting to go home and that for the past two hours, he hadn’t understood anything because everyone was speaking in a foreign language . But that makes no sense—if he didn’t understand anything, what was he doing? Just standing there staring at the sky? He was obviously on his phone but purposely ignoring me.
What made me really uncomfortable is that he was out drinking at 4 AM, surrounded by random women, and lying to me about it. There were 20-40 men—does he really expect me to believe that none of them brought women? If he had nothing to hide, he should’ve sent me a quick video at the villa right away, just like he did later when he got home.
To make things worse, three weeks ago, when he went on another road trip, he sent me a picture of himself with two girls around him, completely all over him, laughing about how his friends told them he was a MotoGP rider. And now he’s acting like I’m crazy for being upset. He even told me, “So what if there were women? What matters is who I sleep with.”
I didn’t mind that there were women there, I trust him
What made me not trust him was the fact that he did not update me that there were women
He told me “it’s just us guys”
All that would’ve been good is if he just told me “hey babe btw some of the guys brought some chicks so we’re chilling lol”
At this point, I just feel disrespected, unwanted, and like I’m not actually his girl. He keeps lying, avoiding responsibility, and gaslighting me into thinking I’m overreacting. I don’t deserve this.
