Hi all (again lol ik i just posted) tw: mention of toxic relationship, anxiety & guilt w new hookups I’m just looking for some advice! I’ve been in long term relationships since i was about 16 (im 22 now) and never was single for long periods of time. I just got out of a toxic relationship of 3 and a half years about 5 months ago and have been just taking the time to discover myself and “live the single life”. i’ve never been much of a hookup girl since i’ve been in relationships ( AND ZEROOOO hate to anyone who is into hookups). I’ve hookup with a few people that i’ve known and kissed a few as well and i always feel a weird sense of guilt or anxiety afterwards. I know that its not a bad thing that these things have happened bc its not that i regret them what so ever. I just think it might be something i’m not used too? What are your thoughts, i’m just looking for some advice since none of my friends have ever rly been in the same boat (most have never really had a relationship or are in their first serious one)

I mean culturally there is a lot of shame around sexuality and liberated female sexuality in particular so that could be a cause

What kind of advice are you asking for? Are you wanting advice on if you should continue hookups? Or advice on how to combat this feeling? Personally, I was a virgin until my first longer relationship (June 2022-August 2023). After that, I had 2 small hookups (one in a short-term relationship), and the first hookup I regret a little. I don’t think I am ashamed, but I just felt like they didn’t deserve that much of me, if that makes any sense. I WILL! say, my first friends-with-benefits scenario was my current partner. We were friends with benefits for 2 months before we basically fell in love 🤣 and we’ve been officially together for 2 months next week. I’ve never been happier.. and wouldn’t have found that with him if I hadn’t done that. Not that that’s good for everyone or always how life works out

@nicoanstic_ i think just on how to combat the feeling or if anyone else experienced it how they dealt with it! also that is so adorable and i am so so happy for you! i read so many books like that and it is so cute and refreshing to me to know that it does happen in real life 😂🫶🏻

@rosesofrain I would do some research into sex positivity, feminism and purity culture to unpack those feelings.

If hookups really aren’t for you then that is totally okay! If the guilt is coming from doing something you’re uncomfortable with then don’t hookup anymore. But if you think it’s deeper than that then definitely follow @aurielle’s advice.