Ugh!!! im constantly splitting on my “situationships” i’ve been able to somewhat control my emotions when it comes to friends and even some long term partners. But whenever I meet someone new, it’s horrible. I always convince myself they hate me, therefore i hate them, next second they are in love with me and now im insanely in love and acting crazy about them. back and forth back and forth. With this girl i’ve been talking to she’s soo active on social medias trying to be funny, posting stuff that makes me really irritated and mad and sends me crazy mixed signals (wlw situation). She will flirt with other girls in her comments or the posts she reshares will just completely go against what i think is going on. And on one hand it’s whatever because we aren’t together, and my higher self knows that she just thinks this stuff she posts is funny but on the other hand it’s like why are u doing this?? it makes me want to block her and not talk to her at all. but then she’ll text me or we’ll hangout and it’s like nothing was ever wrong. i hate it. it’s so emotionally draining.

It's kind of hard to tell here whether you're talking to people who are inconsistent and giving you mixed signals OR (and I really do mean this respectfully) perhaps you are the one who is emotionally inconsistent or overthinks/overanalyzes things like social media posts. It could be also that you're attracted to people who activate that emotional rollercoaster in you which could be reenacting traumas or patterns from your past! Either way, it might be good to speak to a therapist about this? It shouldn't feel "horrible" and draining to meet someone you like, it should be a really fun and exciting time!

100% it’s me who’s emotions are inconsistent due to over analyzing and overthinking !! I just don’t know how to stop. I definitely should speak with a therapist about it, and i have in the past i just needed to vent honestly. i feel like im going insane, my personality completely changed when im in situations like this it’s like i don’t recognize myself i get completely caught up and stop caring about other things.

I used to be exactly like this tbh. I still tend to overthink things, but now I have a partner that doesn’t mind talking it out with me and communicating (which is how it should be) but we ourselves also need to take steps and meet the other person in the middle. Even yesterday I was overthinking and maybe the version of myself about 5 years ago would have lashed out at that person - instead now I tell myself to breathe and not get mad at that person before they’ve had the chance to communicate with me about what I am feeling. I understand this is not just something someone can immediately snap and do - but it does help when you’re super comfortable with your partner. I also don’t think it’s necessarily helping looking at their behaviour etc, it’s never nice to see someone you like flirting with someone else - and it’s only normal to feel some kind of sadness or maybe anger about it - but it will never get solved unless you both have a sincere conversation and ask where you both stand in this “relationship” - from what I understand you are not exclusive, and because of that, she may just be keeping her options open or still talking to multiple people. Maybe make your feelings known that even if you’re not dating, you’d like for both of you to only talk to each other exclusively and see where it goes (not necessarily a full relationship). To sum it up the only way your mind will quiet is when you get an answer about it from the person you’re overthinking about. Starting these conversations can be difficult- but i would only want to be with a partner that communicated with me in the first place. Also having friends you can vent to helps, and also friends that are honest and will tell you when your overthinking isn’t warranted. It helps me when my friends tell me i’m doing too much instead of friends constantly encouraging harmful behaviour just to be “supportive”. Good luck. As an overthinker I hate to think someone else is going through the same things. Even though i’ve grown it still tends to eat me up sometimes. ❤️

i completely agree. We aren’t exclusive but she’s made it clear many times that she isn’t sexually active with anyone else and hasn’t been since we’ve started talking. And as for the girls she flirts with i’ve asked her about them and she’s told me she doesn’t even know them, but it’s like why do that so publicly if you know we fw each other? And i believe she definitely could have had the chance to go meet and be physical with these girls but just hasn’t so that confuses me too, like why aimlessly flirt? But i’ve removed the social medias in question that i keep checking her page on because it’s done nothing for me. The next time i hangout with her i plan on having that conversation, about wanting us to be exclusive even though we may not be ready to date. Thank you so much! It feels good knowing i’m not alone with this. She also is never really on her phone when we hangout or if she is she scrolls through social media for a bit then gets off so her not replying is usual not just for me but i’m assuming for everyone. I just hate overthinking. She’s a very up front person so i think if she didn’t like me she wouldn’t talk to me or keep entertaining this. She also has been working a lot more recently and is probably just drained. The over thinking makes me think I did something wrong and it just ruins my entire mood. I definitely will reach out to some trusted friends !