Hi guys! My boyfriend found out yesterday that some boy from my town was flirting with me (I kind of gave the same vibe back), and today we almost broke up because of that. I’m glad that he gave me another chance, but at some point, it doesn’t feel right anymore because I can sense the tension between us. I asked him if I could hug him after the conversation we had, even though we are still together, but I don’t know how to act around him. He told me that I need to prove to him that I’m worthy of being trusted, but I just don’t know how to show it. Any tips or what should I do in this situation?

I personally would reflect on why you flirted back in that situation instead of shutting it down. Is there something going on in your head that’s led to you acting like that? Is there something going on or missing in your relationship? How did he find out? It’s been a day so definitely give it more time, this is something that’s going to take weeks/months not just a few hours to work through if that’s what you both decide to do.

@bluerose9 I think the problem stems from my past since everyone has betrayed me. This last month has been really awful, and I thought that if I hurt him first, I wouldn’t suffer (I also realised that I won’t find anyone better than him so I regret it so much). He found out personally from the guy I was flirting with, and the guy did it purely out of revenge because I made it clear that I wouldn’t have anything to do with him. After that conversation, I went out with my boyfriend, and he hasn’t written to me since then. Should I reach out first, or should I let him be?

@rapunzel18 honestly if that’s the way you think, I would recommend therapy to deal with those issues and cope with difficult times better. If you really want to do some work to be a better person and partner then I think therapy is the best way to do that. And also goes some way to proving to your boyfriend that you’re taking responsibility and accountability for your self destructive and hurtful behaviour and that you are taking steps to ensure you don’t do that again. For the moment in this situation i would personally give him a bit of space, and reach out to him maybe with a brief message saying I hope he sleeps well and I’ll talk to him tomorrow or something like that. And then talk properly tomorrow. But you know him best - some people want to talk these things out as soon as possible, and some people like to be left alone to process things themselves, so do what you think he would prefer.

I think you kinda self sabotaged your relationship, I agree with the above maybe therapy would help (don’t mean that in a mean way) A helpful tip I found that helped me act “right” in a relationship is I always ask myself “If I found out he was doing it to me how would I react?” How would you feel if the roles were reversed and you found out that he was flirting/entertaining someone else?