Hey gals. I need some advice to give a friend. Ive never been in her situation sonido what to tell her.. 😫 so her and her bf have hit a rough patch lately and they’re still together however he’s asking her for space for a few days only. She has separation anxiety so this is hard on her. The thing is, my friend realized she has been acting toxic lately and that’s why her boyfriend needs some space. Of course tho, they had a whole conversation about this. He reassured her he’s willing to work it out and stick through, but he just needed to clear his head a bit. He’s also having exams and etc. So he’s stressed atm. My friend knows this space is quite necessary and it can help. However she’s having trouble keeping her thoughts limited... she’s keeps venting to me and her main thoughts/concern seem to be : I miss him so much I don’t know how he’s okay without talking to me for this long (they haven’t talked much in the past week hence the tough patch). So she really is craving affection lately and well, they’re taking some space. But she’s freaking out about how he can be so okay without talking etc. Idk what to say to her 😬 any advice or reassurance words ? Thankssss

Just wanna clarify that this is not a break. Because Ik people see breaks differently. Just wanted to throw that out there :)

It sounds like she needs to work on being independent and focus on fulfilling her own needs! I’m not sure how you could say that though without her being in denial

@Taylinnn19 it does... I’ve tried telling her to focus on her hobbies and things she hasn’t done in a while

I agree with @taylinnn19. She needs to learn to be independent without him and be her own person. Maybe invite her to lunch or something or even just hangout with her if you can to get her mind off things. (with covid restrictions not sure what it’s like for your country or where you are). I also have separation anxiety, and what helps is just focusing on myself (having a self care day, relaxing, etc)

(reposting my comment bc i wanted to add something on) definitely agree with the above, she needs to work on her independence and maybe even look into therapy to help with her separation anxiety if it’s severe. i also don’t think that she should assume that her boyfriend is not okay after not speaking for a week (seems as if she thinks he lacks his independence?), after all they agreed to give each other space and if her wasn’t okay with it he wouldn’t ask/agree in the first place. not saying that he’s not upset about the situation, but it’s odd how she simply just assumes when he could be taking it quite well if he’s independent in the relationship. but the best you can do it give her advice on working on her independence :)

Definitely agree with the above. Also if she knows that she’s been having toxic behaviors having a break won’t actually change anything. She actively needs to work on her independence and I would suggest talking to a therapist to make this process easier (especially to help with unhealthy behavior) x