Talking to a guy I reply like but he has a child already and I don’t know why but it slightly puts me off, I don’t want to care about it but I do, does anybody have any experience with dating someone with previous children

I don’t have any experience of dating someone with children since that’s not for me. But I think the comments in this post brings up good points: {3GHeoKxFd}

It’s okay to be put off by it, a child is a big responsibility. I personally don’t date guys that have children already because I’m too young to even consider my own let alone take care of someone else’s. If you think you’re ready for that then make sure that he at least has a good relationship with the mother of the child, it should make it easier.

if you aren’t interested in dating someone with children you need to tell him now and end it.

@mayella I really like him tho like a lot, I know I won’t have to be responsible for the child at any point of the relationship as he only has them every other weekend but there’s something that doesn’t sit right

@Kitty_cat Even though he only has them every other weekend you need to remember that if he is a good dad he will prioritize his children over you, he probably won’t be able to move too far away from them, you might not be able to travel freely with him, if you move in together the children will be in your home, his bm will always be part of his life, he might not want more children in the future since he already has children which can be a problem if you want children etc. So while it can definitely work there are still a lot of things to think about and to dicuss. Because even though it can be easy at first to date someone with children the children are still a big part of his life and if it gets more serious between you two they probably will be part of your life too sooner or later.

Honestly in my opinion if it just doesn’t feel right, trust your gut feeling and go with your gut feeling. I think it’s pretty reasonable to not want to date someone with children, there’s many reasons why you may feel like that, especially if you’re young.

Don’t do it unless you’re so sure about the relationship. My friend moved in with a guy who has a child and they have sooo many issues with the bm. She’s always trying to take their money and it’s very stressful on their relationship. She wasn’t too aware of this before she moved in, but now it does affect her finances. It’s one thing to be interested in this guy, it’s another to be ready for the commitment this may entail

You say that you won’t have to be responsible for the child but you may end up having some form of responsibility. If he has the child for the weekend and has to pop to A&E for example, you’d have to help and take care of the kid, or maybe he pops to the shops for a bit? You might contribute to presents or trips out? There’s always some form of responsibility when kids are involved, even something as simple as being a kind and caring friend.

I think it’s ok to be put off by it. Honestly I would because I’m not a fan of kids (I don’t even know if I’ll want some in the future). Children are a big responsibility; if he’s a good person and father he’s committed to his kids so they should be priority nbr 1. This means that a lot of compromises will likely have to be made accordingly.