Hi guys! I wonder if anyone else is obsessed with their partner's ex. I just can't stop comparing myself to them, and whenever my boyfriend says something cute, I can't help but wonder how often he said it to his ex. They both follow each other on Instagram, and about a week ago, we had a talk (before he went abroad for 2 months) that if something ever happens to us, he still wants to be in touch with me and I could sleep over at his house whenever I needed... What if he has it the same with his ex? I haven’t had a good nights sleep in like forever because of the overthinking

have you asked him?

@onthepillxo he told me that they are in touch only because she knows some good connections that could be useful for him in the future…

do they speak regularly?

You definitely need to talk to him about your feelings on this. How long were they together and how long have they been broken up? What age are you guys? I will say just because he says he still wants you to be in his life even if you guys break up, it doesn’t mean he feels the same about her. She has “good connections that might be useful in the future” is pretty impersonal and defo not giving friend vibes. Like he’s not keeping in touch with her because he wants her in his life, he’s keeping in touch with her so he can use her basically…. Is that a red flag? I’m not sure tbh. It’s kind of weird I can’t lie? I will say him saying you could sleep over at his house whenever you needed is an oddly specific thing to say. Like that’s the only way he could help you out in the future? Do you not live near him or does he live in a place that’s handy to stay in for events or something? Do you think he was implying you stay over for sex or anything? I can’t blame you for being confused about this I am too lollllll

I think therapy could be very helpful for you to work through this obsession. It's important to remember that the past is the past and I highly doubt you ever think about your ex as much as you think your boyfriend is thinking about his. Put yourself in his shoes and try to imagine how your ex compares to your current boyfriend, I doubt you are still thinking about your ex all the time or that it's interfering with your connection to your boyfriend.

I agree that therapy is the best option for you because you have to work through for yourself why you don’t feel like enough or are obsessed with his ex because it’s not like he’s obsessed with her, you are. Weighing him down and basically convicting him for you overthinking and obsessing isn’t good for his mental health either or your relationship. You have to believe for yourself that you are enough yk. This seems like a symptom of a much bigger issue.