Does anyone have any advice or thoughts on if/how I should have handled this differently? For Memorial Day (US) I get two days off work (Memorial Day and the day after) meaning it's a 4 day weekend (I know that's unusual but my job has very good holidays and PTO.) I have been looking forward to this 4 day weekend for MONTHS because work has been especially brutal lately. I'm the type of person that wants to lounge, chill, and catch up on errands during the weekend, plus having two extra days means I can have an absolutely unscheduled do-nothing day. Well now my boyfriend's parents are visiting us that weekend. Initially he said they would stay a couple days and I was like okay I might still have 2 days of my holiday to myself. Now their plan is to come on Saturday (we have to drive or take the train about an hour into the next city over to meet them) and leave Monday afternoon. Yes I'll get one day to myself but that's no different than a normal weekend. His parents are lovely and I don't mind spending time with them at all, but now my relaxing vacation that I was SO looking forward to will be filled with hosting them and showing them around. It just wasn't what I was anticipating. My fiance did check with me before agreeing to these plans but how could I say no just because I wanted to have the weekend to myself? At the same time I feel resentment about losing this time off because I've been working so hard lately and could really use a break. Is there anything I could have done differently or is this something you just have to deal with? Thinking of trying to take some time off separately but it's hard to find any days when I don't have important meetings or obligations, whereas a staff holiday everyone is off.

I think you are better off being honest with your fiancé about wanting the time to recharge, especially with you working so hard. We all need rest. I’m sure he would’ve been understanding if you brought it up before he finalised the plans. It feels like he checked up on you to see how you were feeling about the plans before deciding anything, and since you said it was okay he probably thought it was okay. Our partners cannot read our minds, transparency is very important.

@Yi_eune I totally agree. I did make a comment somewhat like "there goes my 4 day weekend, I was really looking forward to the time off" and he said "it's still time off" and I was like yes but...with your parents.... he doesn't really get it because he's not an introvert like myself and doesn't need those alone times to recharge.

@aurielle I think it’s a matter of expressing your needs, he might not be an introvert but I’m sure he is capable enough to understand and respect your needs. :) I fully understand you and in that regard we are quite similar, I need time to myself to recharge, but to achieve that it is really important to communicate it clearly with partners that aren’t introverts.

Totally relate to this argument, as I am also an introvert and hosting does nothing but stress me out lowk lol. Reiterating what @yi_eune said but being honest is the best choice. Instead of feeling bad for wanting to say no, simply tell your fiancé you need the time off and weren’t looking to have your time off planned for you. If my husband wants to make plans on the weekends that involve me, I always ask him to tell me first before speaking to the third party so I feel less put on the spot and less guilty for passing on the social outing! My husband gets it now, I told him during our last argument “the way you decompress and recharge is not the same for me. It’s not relaxing for me to go out and be with friends, I’m more relaxed at home or spending time with just the two of us.”

Would it be possible for him to take his parents somewhere one of the days and leave you to do your own thing ? You could tell a little white lie and say you have plans with a friend or something if his parents ask. Might be one way to compromise!

@bluerose9 that's a good idea! I hope he can get some time off because he normally works Sunday and Monday lol

@aurielle ohhhh that makes this situation worse 🥲

My fiancé’s parents just did the same thing over the Easter bank holiday weekend, stayed the whole 4 days I was off work 🙃 I have no advice as I couldn’t get out of it, but I can relate. My fiancé was like “you could’ve just said no” but like… I couldn’t really?? I just tried to do my own thing and get out of the house when I knew they’d be home and my partner was at work

@aurielle oh no that makes it ten times worse.. that means you need to entertain them all by yourself.. I would not be okay with that 😭

Update he did take Sunday and Monday off work, and I decided to use some PTO to take the day after Juneteenth off (which I get as a holiday) plus the Monday and Tuesday so I will have a 6 day vacation in June 😬

@Mortie21 @Rand0m0132 sorry you were also put in this position but glad someone can relate!

@aurielle glad you guys have figured things out! Enjoy your well deserved break x

My boyfriends parents are also visiting Memorial Day weekend which is right before my last week of school (which will be crazy busy because I need to pack my room to move into the brand new school the district built). I have no helpful advice, but just wanted to say I relate. 😭