hi guys so i've been with my bf for 2 years now and i love him i wish i could spend the rest of my life with him he's perfect. expect the fact that we have very different options on many subjects (like politics etc.) and the things that bother me most is that he doesn't want me to go clubbing with my girls we've had problems with this in the past and now it's coming up again because my friends are going regularly and i feel like i'm missing out on my teenage years and that i'm slowly loosing my friends we talked about this a lot and the only solution we've came to is breaking up, because he would be in too much pain if i went and he wants me to be happy, so he prefers leaving me if that means i'll get to do what i want the fact is that i live this boy i cannot see my life without him and for me breaking up is not a solution. i don't know what to do please help me i want to stay with him and i also want to go clubbing

I don’t think there really is a solution here, either you continue to go out and enjoy yourself, or stop going out, and stay in a relationship that sounds pretty controlling. I’d argue politics especially are something I’d want my partner to agree with me on personally. You shouldn’t allow someone to control how you spend your time, if he doesn’t trust you going out that isn’t your problem, you’re young and it’s what young people do. At the end of the day, you can stay in this relationship if you want to, but be deeply unhappy and grow to resent him for the way he controls your night life. I know it may be hard the thought of being single, but better to be single than a man who treats you like this. X

i thought about breaking up a lot, but i'm scared i might loose the only person who i truly love and who truly and purely loves me just for some hours of fun that i might regret later (sorry if my english is bad it's not my native language)

This man has a very controlling mindset, he doesn’t have a right to tell you if you can go clubbing or not with ur girlfriends I mean its not like you are going with a guy or out cheating on him. Why is he hurt if you go have fun? Is he insecure?? I think you should leave this man if he truly loved you he wouldn’t control your fun and possibly cause you to loose friends, I don’t think you want to live ur entire life with a guy like this. You only live once have fun with the girls!

he has trust issues because all of his exes cheated on him and because two years ago i did some things that broke his trust even more but i thought we went past this and that he was ready but obviously not and idk what to do i love him but i still wanna have fun

@iminl0vewith because you said teenage years in your previous post I’m assuming your still very young, there is no reason to assume you will never be able to find someone else. You also don’t treat someone you truly love the way he is treating you. Again, if he doesn’t trust you, that ISNT YOUR PROBLEM! He needs to learn how to trust you, but to be honest, I think you’d be much better off without him.

You would either have to have a conversation about how he cannot control what you do and how you feel about him controlling you or just leave him. His trust issues are not an excuse to not let you have fun his trust issues should have been solved before he got with you because that is just not fair for you. You may have broke his trust but in order for the relationship to work he needs to learn to forgive.

the only solution we found is that i would go one time and see how he reacts and then find a solution from there. the problem is i'm scared to go in case he hates it and then we'll have to break up

Do you think that solution is fair tho? I personally dont think it is because either way if he says he doesnt like it then yoy are back in ur same situation. Me and @hEllok1tty both agree that you would be better off without this man.

Don’t listen to the replies if you really loved him and wanted to stay with him you wouldn’t care u can go out with your friends to a safer place there’s a loneliness in women these day and ages because people don’t wanna work on shit and just go straight to leaving and fun times :/ he’s probs saying no bc of how unsafe these places can be

@aTHOME799 literally ANYWHERE can be unsafe, if it was about “safety” I think he would have gave that type of explanation, either way he still cant tell her because thats very unrealistic when the world itself is a dangerous place. Let’s not justify controlling and insecure boyfriends telling their gfs what to do.

This guy is manipulating you and giving you an ultimatum between your freedom and what he wants. You say he’s perfect but everything you say points to the opposite. He should not have gotten in a relationship with you if he hasn’t worked through his issues. You’ve been together for 2 years, he’s had plenty of time to work on himself. It’s not your problem he has been cheated on, and that sucks, but you’re not going to fix him. Don’t give him the power to control you. Leave. His behaviour is seriously wrong but you staying with him just because you’re scared you won’t find another is also really unfair on him. It’s a bad reason to stay. You can stay with him, but one of you will start resenting the other and it’ll just get messier when things eventually do go wrong.

You're a teenager, this is not your soulmate. At this age spending time with your friends and having life experiences are honestly more important than being in a relationship. You have your whole life to find a life partner but you'll never be this age again or get your youth back. I think you're far more likely to regret missing out on time with your friends than breaking up with him. Everyone goes through breakups. Even if it feels like the end of the world, it's not, you'll get through it. And with literally billions of people on this planet, you'll find someone else who loves you AND is secure enough to let you go out with your girls without a second thought. You shouldn't have to compromise your freedom for a relationship. It's perfectly achievable to have both.

One of the biggest life lessons I learned as a teenager looking it back on it now is that you may think you’ll never survive without them BUT you WILL, more then half the people I knew in my teenage years I don’t even talk to anymore—you’re so young, you haven’t even met half of the people you’re meant to meet in your lifetime!!!!