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May 11
Topic - Spouse’s parents ✨Sorry bit of a long one but any insights would be greatly appreciated ✨ I’ve been with my partner for almost 2 years, we’re both 21 and still live at home with our parents (40 minutes away but we both drive so see each other a couple times a week) he gets on really well with my parents and I do too with his but his dad has started being quite controlling over him (it seems to be more and more over time) but it only seems to be when it’s relating to me/ my boyfriend seeing me. His dad gets annoyed whenever my boyfriend drives to come and see me then calls him up almost every time asking when he’ll be back, my boyfriend feels like he needs to ask for permission whenever he comes to see me and dreads telling his dad where he’s going because he’ll be ‘in a mood about it’. I find this really odd because me and his dad get on well, he’s always been pleasant to me when I’m at their house and does seem like he likes me 🤷‍♀️ I understand he still lives at home and is under his dads roof but he is an almost 22 year old man, owns his own car and has recently started a business by himself, he feels he has little independence due to the way he’s treated. He always asks me for advice and how to handle things with his dad and I’m trying to help him in any way I can but I struggle to give him any advice because I just can’t justify the way his dad acts 🤷‍♀️
May 12
i would suggest for him to talk to his dad about how he feels! if it’s an issue that can’t be resolved then maybe he should start to consider arranging to move out and getting his own place. i know it’s convenient to live with your parents, but if he starts to feel as if he’s lacking independence, and this is something that can’t be worked out with his dad, i think the simplest solution for him is to move out.
May 12
He needs to find a good time to talk to his dad and get to the bottom of why he’s so concerned. This shouldn’t be right before he heads out to see you as they should allow time to talk. He needs to ask something like “hey I’ve noticed you’ve been concerned when I go to my girlfriends house, what has changed recently that you’re no longer as comfortable with it as you used to?” It may be completely unrelated to you but you’re just getting caught in the middle of it. It may be as simple as his dad being concerned that he’s starting a business and he doesn’t want him to get distracted. If your boyfriend can reassure him he’s managing his time well, maybe it’ll clarify things.

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