my boyfriend is driving 7 hours to go to a girl's prom this weekend. he'll be there for five days. the thing is that he never asked me if i has ok with it and he is convinced that he did. I know that because maybe if he would've asked he would know how much it's bothering me. I know i should have brought it up sooner because he is leaving today so there's nothing i can do now other than see all the pictures. is it normal that this is bothering me so much?

Who’s the girl he is going with?

@yogesceb96 his friend

if she is a friend I wouldn’t be so upset about it if you trust your boyfriend then it shouldn’t be a problem

@yogesceb96 i just don't understand why she had to ask the guy that has a girlfriend and that lives across the province. and also that he never asked me how i felt

Wouldn’t be a fan unless it was a childhood friend or family friend tbh. I think you should say something so at least he knows for the future

^ agree. I would find it strange

Why does he need to ask you?

@junie i won't see him until he gets back

and he's a pretty flirty person and i don't think he realizes it, he also tends to drink a lot and can't really control his drinking

@canacadianx drink doesn’t cause people to cheat 🤷‍♀️

@martini_ i'm not saying that i think he's going to cheat

@canacadianx so I’m not sure what you are worried about then?

This is something that you should learn from. It’s never too late to express your feelings to your partner. You are with this person because you trust in them and feel safe and comfortable with them so you should never feel like you can’t talk to your partner. When he gets back in town you should definitely follow up with him and your feelings. I personally never had a problem with my bf going out with another girl. I love my bf and I want him to have fun and be happy and help mak others happy. This other girl felt she didn’t have anybody else to go with so she asked a friend who happened to have a gf. Someone’s life doesn’t change or shouldn’t drop people from their life just because they get in a relationship. Text your bf and remind him to be careful with his drinking. That’s what I do with my bf. I text him a little bit then say be careful and watch your drinking since you’re driving and it makes me worry. My bf respects me to listen to my feelings and my worries. That’s all you can do really. Let him have fun and trust him that he will stay safe

If you miss him, maybe you can visit him for a day or something since he’s going to be gone for long.

@martini_ im just uncomfortable with it and cause tells people that he talked to me about it but he never did and i never knew about it until i heard his friend talking about it and i just found out that he's going to be gone for five or six days. he's leaving july first to go to military training and i won't see him for a long while then

@kitty0806 i have a hard time talking about my feelings and when i try his replies make me feel like i'm ruining his day and it makes me feel bad. i try to trust him but I don't know why i have a hard time doing so. i'm used to keeping my feelings in and pretending like i'm fine and that's what happened. drinking and partying has always felt like it is his priority and i'm usually at home alone. thanks for your reply though

if i were in your position I’d end it honestly or just talk to him telling him he has to change because by what you’re saying he prioritizes drinking and partying over you makes it seem your not a priority at all, I myself don’t need to be #1 priority but to be placed under alcohol and partying constantly is a no for me

@kayymami_ when i tell him that i would rather spend the night with him and that he's always drinking i get the "but it's been a while since a drank with the boys" or the " i just want one more good night with my friends before i leave to go risk my life" (cause he's leaving for the army) and i would understand if it wouldn't be multiple times a week

I find is very strange he hasn't even mentioned it

Honestly if this is something you have an issue with you really need to talk to him. Communication is so important, how is he supposed to know how you feel if you don’t say? Pretending that it’s all ok is not helping anything. I have to say I do find this situation a bit strange, and I personally would also prefer for my partner to discuss something like this with me before actually doing it, so I do think it’s understandable that it’s bothering you

Is there a chance that maybe he actually genuinely thought he did mention it to you? I know people who have had conversations with people in their dreams and genuinely think they have had the conversation? I mean maybe that’s a possibility 🤷‍♀️

@Ebell exactly! Sure I even think I’ve had a conversation about something when I’ve simply thought about having the conversation... I feel like people are getting their pitch forks ready to condemn the boyfriend

I wouldn’t feel okay with it. If it was the other way around, would he be okay with you going to your friend’s prom and staying 5 days?

I would be mad

LOL @martini_ “pitchforks ready” 🤣 If I’m being honest if you are struggling with communication now before he is on leave for the army, it will only get worse once he is gone. It’s not healthy that you feel you have to keep your emotions bottled up all the time, that’s just making you into a doormat for situations that he puts you in that you are not comfortable with. I would be quite uncomfortable about this mostly because he didn’t make a point to talk to you about it first, I agree with some of the girls here that he doesn’t necessarily need “permission”, but I think the respectful thing would have been to talk to you about this first to put your mind at ease. Knowing that you are uncomfortable about this and just going anyways without trying to talk about it with you first is a little inconsiderate IMO.

I find it weird and I’d be annoyed.

I would be mad he didn’t tell it’s not asking permission it’s common curtesy if I just left town and never told my boyfriend I was leaving he’d be like what the heck

thanks girls, i just don't know what to do what to do now cause he's gone and i don't want to talk by text about this now cause it's too late

Girl I would feel the exact same way. I wouldn’t be okay with it either, unless it was a childhood/family friend as stated above. I don’t think that’s a normal thing people in relationships do and he drove far for her. You definitely need to communicate your concerns with him and express that you wish he would’ve asked first, but try not to worry as much because you can’t make him not go if he’s already gone.

I mean I fly from the US to London to see my guy friends and I’m in a relationship.. I think it all depends how close they are and how long they have known each other but I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with it

I really don’t understand what the problem is. He’s going to see a friend. I’ve stayed with friends for days, weeks, even more. Just because it’s a person of the opposite sex it should be no different. If you have reasons for feeling insecure from his behaviour in the past then that’s understandable. But he shouldn’t have to tell you his every whereabouts or what he’s doing. He may have forgot, he may have left it last minute. In all honesty it’s not even that important to have mentioned. It’s only 5 days. Not a month. Also it’s a prom. He’s not going just with her, there’s going to be hundreds of other people there. In regards to drinking and partying, that’s no excuse to cheat. If you’re worried about his behaviour when drinking then he isn’t the guy for you. If you don’t like the fact he’s a party guy then maybe again he isn’t the guy for you. He should prioritise you yes, but you can’t stop him from going to a public event with a friend. If you trust him it wouldn’t be a problem. I understand you’re slightly mad because he didn’t let you know in advance but honestly it’s not the end of the world. 5 days he will be back.

I’m just gonna put this out there but most boys don’t drive 7 hours for a “friend” js

Why is he staying so many days for prom?

Maybe I’m crazy compared to the other girls on here but it’s weird. He didn’t tell you about it and I would be concerned too. He’s going away for a week to attend prom as a date with this girl. I feel like this should have came up multiple times before in conversation

@jessbabyy309 I’ve travelled to another country to see my friends (2 guys). My friends are just as important as my boyfriend, if not more important because I’ve known them longer

Update ?

@princesspeac update is that he just told me that he's actually staying for 7 days there and he's leaving early to move so that leaves us three days that he's here and one of the three is our graduation and i still haven't said anything

Girl say something

Well you obviously have a problem with the situation so speak up