So I’ve been in a long distance relationship for a couple months now…we have broken up twice cause he says he’s having a hard time and that it Isn’t mean it’s him but when I try to talk to him about it instead of giving up on the relationship it turns into me..I’m doing this that and the third wrong when he can’t take no accountability…this has happen twice now and each time we have worked it out…I do have a problem with communication I can admit that but it’s something I work on but it feels like he wants a female version of him…even the way he talks to me using these huge words showing my mom and says to let him go but I don’t want to…what should I do try and having another conversation cause then at the same time I found out that people in his college thinks his dating this other girl cause there close and that some other girl tried or did kiss him and k would’ve have no it he didn’t accidentally woken me up talking to his roommate about it.

This sounds exhausting tbh. What positive things are you getting out of the relationship at this point? What are you holding on to him for? How did you find out that other people thought/assumed he is in a relationship with someone else ?

I’m from him telling his roommate about the situation

It’s been 2 months, there’s no point continuing this relationship. I don’t see what he is adding to your life other than stress

@bluerose9 sorry for the late reply, I mean he is a very loving and caring person, I guess I’m holding on to him because it my first official relationship and we are a good match for each other it just things like this and other situations that happened in the past which makes me think, cause we are in FaceTime all the time and he takes me with him whenever he goes and I heard someone asked if he was dating this person cause they talk, same with the roommate and when I brought it up he got kinda defensive like we are just friends I don’t like anyone here I don’t wanna be with anyone but you

@sydnee him being your ‘first’ is no reason to hold on to this relationship. It’s much better to be single than anxious and miserable with the wrong person. Also being in constant contact is unhealthy, you should have separate lives too.

@Awg1 I just want to try and save it but I’m not gonna be begging him for anything

Why though? He’s not even a great partner to you already.

@Awg1 He is there when I need him, to calm me down when I’m overthinking or when I need to calm down, he always there to talk to and have different conversations, getting me some gifts and things like that it’s just this, and another situation that happen in the past that we have gotten over

@Sydnee from your post I see no evidence that you are a good match or that he is loving or caring. It’s not a good sign that other people are making the assumption that he is in a relationship with another person. That’s actually really sh!tty of him. It’s not a good sign that he cannot take accountability for what he’s done/said. Are you actually working problems out if you’re just dealing with the same problem again and again? Is he making any compromises or changes here or he is just apologising and you both move on and then he does it again? Breaking up on average once a month is usually a sign that you are definitely not compatible or a good match. The first few months of a relationship are called the honeymoon phase for a reason - it’s meant to be fun. This doesn’t sound fun.

@bluerose9 only a few people know he in a relationship, like really close friends and some of the people who’s in charge like a ra people like that, it’s not always bad and we can talk though our problems it’s just takes longer ig for him to see his wrong doing if the problem it’s on both out of parts we have been together since April and it not like he’s binding me from family his mom really likes me and so does he’s sisters. So out of that many months we have taking a break once because of his mental health and one because of the relationship. And he is working on trying to speak to me more gently maybe instead of be blunt and I do see some changes instead of just reflecting the problem on me he is apologizing for what he did, like if he’s willing to move to another state for me, or take to my mom or even when we didn’t talk he never had to message me again but he did he was asking about me to my mom without me knowing so I think he wants this to work

@Sydnee you would think his roommate would know who he’s in a relationship with no? At the very least his roommate must have seen or heard something that makes them think he’s in a relationship with someone else other than you. I’m not sure what advice you want you keep disagreeing with whatever other people say lol Relationships shouldn’t be this hard to make work

@bluerose9 true your right, I wanted to get other people perspective on this situation and I do apologize all the advice cause this is the last time I wanna deal with his disrespect sydnee

@Sydnee you shouldn’t feel disrespected by your partner. If he had any respect for you, you wouldn’t have felt disrespected in the first place.

@bluerose9 yea or felt as tho he was hiding it because of it did happen before we met why was you kinda defensive about it, all of this could be cleared about if you told people you was in a relationship

@Sydnee yeah sounds like he’s intentionally not telling people he’s in relationship, why is that? It’s not a good sign anyway.

@bluerose9 there has been a couple times when we was on the phone and he told someone they would try and stlll his phone and talk to me or just come new he’s phone to look, but he has in a relationship with me on his socials

You should never have to say ‘it is not all bad’ about a relationship. They are supposed to add to your life and be happy most of the time, especially only 2 months in. You probably wouldn’t even overthink & need support so much if you were in a happy & healthy relationship btw, do you have good friends & family?

It’s been 6 almost 7 months, just family it’s hard for me to trust people