I want to know your opinions. Is it okay that your partner suddenly ghosts for 6+ hours without telling you they’re gonna be busy or are busy? When he finally responded at almost 1 in the morning, I told him to at least communicate with me to tell me he’s busy but he argued that if he’s not replied at all then he obvs was busy and wasn’t able to communicate that to me ..

I personally am a fan of communicating that kind of thing, but others will disagree

He says it’s “unhealthy” that I can’t function without knowing what he’s doing and that I can’t function without him not even for a day. But the thing is I can.. I told him it’s just common decency. He said I’m entitled ://

Am I wrong for wanting to be informed if they’re gonna be busy, so I’m not just left hanging

Why did he say that?? Like did you blow up his phone or something? You both could communicate less aggressively. So for you say “hey I’d appreciate if next time you’d let me know it’s totally fine a one off but I would really appreciate it:)”

@taylinnn19 I left two messages but I didn’t blow up his phone. And when it was getting late I called to see what’s happened to him cos it was coming up to 1am he didn’t pick up but texted me almost right away responding to the previous texts saying he didn’t see those and then said that he wasn’t able to pick up the call then proceeded to ask if I’m good. Then when I asked where he’s been he wasn’t giving me a straight answer

Yeah that’s odd, you did nothing wrong and it’s kind of weird he got defensive and said you can’t function or whatever

everyone’s relationship is different but I personally would be a little offended. I’m fine if my boyfriend doesn’t text me for any amount of time, I just always appreciate him saying “hey I’ll busy for a bit” with an I love you! It’s part of our healthy communication! It only takes a few seconds to send a quick text, but this is just me!

@taylinnn19 Yeah. I’ma trying to figure out if he really is just bad at communicating or he just doesn’t like me lol I keep having to tell him to communicate with me instead of leaving me hanging for hours n hours

@girlygirl77 I said that to him too, that it only takes a few secs to send one message letting me know. He just doesn’t get it

I’m** @taylinnn19

@ann98_ I wish he would understand! It’s something simple, I hope he can work on it:)

I don’t think not talking to you for 6+ hours is “ghosting”. To me, that’s not even bad communicating, just him living his life. I don’t think he owes you a heads up or warning for when he won’t be able to respond for awhile unless it’s a really significant period of time. Him not doing that doesn’t mean he doesn’t like you and if you didn’t have any plans or anything how were you left hanging? You just weren’t able to have a conversation cause he was busy. I hope this doesn’t come off as too harsh, I just have a very different perspective on this I guess. Essentially, unless there is some kind of safety thing to be worried about, I don’t think you need to be “informed” of his activities on a 6 hourly (or more) basis.

Unless you had plans together I don't see the issue. I would personally find it overbearing and unhealthy if my partner couldn't go for 6 hours without hearing from me...

But I really value that kind of independence and ability to live my own life in my relationship and so does my partner. If that's something you really need you may be better suited for someone else

@beesandhoney what would you consider a significant period of time? Idk to me it’s so simple to quickly tell someone “I’m busy we’ll talk when we can” or something of that sort. We were already previously talking and then he randomly stopped responding. And before that happened I was out busy, but I was still able to let him know what I was doing, out of respect

@aurielle It’s not that I can’t go 6 hours without hearing from him. I just appreciate it more if they tell me they’re gonna be busy and they can’t talk instead of kinda leaving the convo we were already having, half way

personally, me and my partner inform each other when we are unable to reply. i would be upset especially if it was mid conversation. communication is key and it can be worrying if your partner just disappears mid conversation

Personally, I don’t respond for 6 hours all the time and am busy a lot so if I had to text every time I’ll be busy that would become a little absurd.. I don’t think there’s anything wrong w not texting for that length of time unless you have plans or something.

I guess it depends on the person/situation, but for me I’d start getting worried if my partner didn’t respond for a whole day or more with no explanation. I guess what I don’t personally get is what are you worried will happen during that 6 hours like @nikeyxo said? That they don’t like you anymore? Or that they are possibly in danger? I guess I feel like any concern that is coming out of that situation (if it isn’t safety-related, i.e, they had been doing something dangerous) is going to be concern born out of insecurity. And I think acting on that insecurity is, to me, kinda controlling. Him not texting you for 6 hours ≠ him not liking you a whole lot.

^ exactly. I'm not sure why you would need to know that he'll be busy for a few hours? I guess if you're used to texting constantly and hearing from all the time, then 6 hours of silence might be weird but in my relationship we're not on our phones or talking constantly so it's completely normal not to hear from each other for 6, 8, 10 hours

I would be kinda offended and concerned that he got mad at you for wanting to know what he is up too and making sure he’s okay. Also kinda concerning that he got THAT defensive and tried to put the blame on you. It’s different for every relationship, personally for me I usually text my bf if I’m doing university or at work and just let him know if I don’t reply and I’ll reply to him as soon as I can and he does the same. Kinda suspicious in my opinion, but I’m being biased off my relationship it could be completely different for your situation where it’s normal for you guys not to text for hours on end.

Also my boyfriend games ALOT with his friends and that’s his time with his friends at the moment since covid and the restrictions set in my place where I live so it’s understandable.

Would drive me a little crazy if my partner couldn’t go 6 hours without an update tbh, and even left me 2 messages. That’s not long at all and is a usual amount of time to be busy doing something...but then again I don’t like texting all day everyday, I personally don’t know how people can do that and still be able to have their independent lives easily. I personally think his reaction is reasonable. I agree with @beesandhoney I think you need to think about why you need updates.

@beesandhoney nope nothing to do with insecurities, i’ve never been in that position where i would need to be worried, it just could be worrying if your partner disappeared for a long time. me and my partner just do it because we feel like it, we never told each other to do so.

I mean it’s okay to worry at times I’d personally would not call them and just wait for a reply but everyone is different if it was his first time doing it idk why he would be so annoyed at your reaction though since you still learning your boundaries but don’t take it to heart most important thing is that he replied to you so it should not be a problem.

That wouldn’t bother me at all. Sometimes I don’t reply back for several hours at a time cos I’m busy or just am not using my phone.