Just looking for some advice. So two years ago I started seeing a guy, and he was the first person I had sex with in 1 year and 4 months. The second and third time we had sex I started bleeding during it, granted I was kind of tense and really insecure about my body during it, and probably since I hadn’t been sexually active. (I feel like Im tighter too because of it so that could be a factor). Since then (2023) I haven’t had sex. I’m basically mortified to have sex with anyone again after bleeding on him and how I’m so insecure with the way my body/stomach looks during it. There’s guys I’ve talked to recently that are really cute and want to see me but I’m too scared because of all the above. I guess I’m just looking for advice or if anyone has experienced anything remotely similar. Thanks!

Therapy!! I know it’s always thrown at people here as a suggestion but it’s for good reason. A safe space to talk about these things, to get to the root of it and work on how you see yourself will do wonders. Also, depending on how comfortable you are and how sincere this guy is, maybe it would be helpful to open up to him about past experiences? A good human will tell you that there’s no rush, no pressure, no judgement and that at any moment you’re uncomfortable then you can try again another time. Any time my partner has given me reassurance in moments of vulnerability it’s almost made me more excited because of how safe he makes me feel and unwinds the issue in my head because I realize no matter what, he’s with me no matter how that looks.

Oh you said multiple guys, maybe what I’ve said about opening up with them still applies! Depending on the situation

Absolutely no need to be mortified about bleeding on him. Whatsoever. Any mature and sensible adult who is participating in consensual sex is fully aware and accepting that sex comes with the chances that body fluids, including the less welcome ones like poop, pee and blood, are a possibility. You have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of for having a body that works and behaves like a body. You have a body that looks like a body. Same as everyone else. Do you look at other people, judge their bodies and think negatively about their bodies? Do you judge your partners bodies as harshly as you judge your own? If you’re not doing that then the chances are your partner(s) are not/have not done that to you. I’m pretty sure anyone who you might be having sex with has also seen another body before and is going to be delighted to have sex with someone as lovely and as beautiful as you. I also recommend therapy to work on your body image and confidence. This is honestly a little sad to read, you’re being so incredibly hard on yourself 🥲 be a little kinder to yourself ❤️

Your stomach is really the last thing someone will be looking at or worrying about when you're having sex. They will be much more distracted by other things!