How to set boundaries with partner? + do you do open phone policy with partner?
Story:
Pretty broad question, but I had a talk with my boyfriend he told me that he one time puthis finger in my bum, I didn’t consent to. I thought he was joking cuz I dont remember it happening, but he says yeah you were probably too drunk to remember. So I brought up like hey maybe you should knock before you enter (aka consent), and he’s like nah I wanna do what I want. Then he brought up that he doesnt trust me because I dont want to show him my phone. My reasoning is that its my privacy and Im fine with handing my phone for him to google stuff or send a message but I know his intention is to snoop which is why I say no.
Anyways after we went to bed, hes asleep right now but Im thinking about if I truly trust him. I generally trust that he wont cheat, but I do struggle to see him respecting me and my boundaries. When we have sex i ask for him to wear a condom cuz i no longer take bc and hes like no. Then when i keep nagging him about it hes like if you want me to wear a condom then we wont have sex. And then I reluctantly give in and we do it raw. Like should I just agree and not have sex? I dont feel respected when he “pushes” my boundaries. He likes to joke that he wants to put it in my butt but im like nope and hes like yup i get to do whatever i want and although this act hasnt happened yet, im still a bit worried that in the future when its the heat of the moment he’ll get his way to something i didnt consent to again.
TLDR: boyfriend wants raw sex, i want condom sex, boyfriend says that we wont have sex unless he goes bare. What to do