How to set boundaries with partner? + do you do open phone policy with partner? Story: Pretty broad question, but I had a talk with my boyfriend he told me that he one time puthis finger in my bum, I didn’t consent to. I thought he was joking cuz I dont remember it happening, but he says yeah you were probably too drunk to remember. So I brought up like hey maybe you should knock before you enter (aka consent), and he’s like nah I wanna do what I want. Then he brought up that he doesnt trust me because I dont want to show him my phone. My reasoning is that its my privacy and Im fine with handing my phone for him to google stuff or send a message but I know his intention is to snoop which is why I say no. Anyways after we went to bed, hes asleep right now but Im thinking about if I truly trust him. I generally trust that he wont cheat, but I do struggle to see him respecting me and my boundaries. When we have sex i ask for him to wear a condom cuz i no longer take bc and hes like no. Then when i keep nagging him about it hes like if you want me to wear a condom then we wont have sex. And then I reluctantly give in and we do it raw. Like should I just agree and not have sex? I dont feel respected when he “pushes” my boundaries. He likes to joke that he wants to put it in my butt but im like nope and hes like yup i get to do whatever i want and although this act hasnt happened yet, im still a bit worried that in the future when its the heat of the moment he’ll get his way to something i didnt consent to again. TLDR: boyfriend wants raw sex, i want condom sex, boyfriend says that we wont have sex unless he goes bare. What to do

Break up. Please. For the love of God. This guy does not love or respect you. He if going to do whatever he wants, even if you don’t give consent. He will not listen to you nor any reasoning. Him not trusting you because you value your privacy is absolutely wild. Tell him to F off. He has severe issues. You’re not responsible for any of this. The way he speaks makes him sound like someone that will cross your boundaries and force himself onto you. He is a disaster waiting to happen. RUN.

Him risking you getting pregnant is also insane. What happens if you actually get pregnant? Because I can already tell you that he will not help you through it no matter your decision. He will probably force you to get an abortion and then continue to have sex without condoms, risking it happening again. Show yourself the respect you deserve and get out 😭

That’s really toxic, he doesn’t respect you and no matter how much you talk to him about it, that will never change. You deserve much better

🚩🚩🚩 Your boyfriend is basically admitting he is a sexual predator. Saying he doesn't need your consent because "he gets to do what he wants"? That's what rapists say. He's sexually assaulted you once and he's saying he will do it again.

Holy shit get tf out of that relationship. Fucking RUN!!!! What the actual fuck that is so scary. I’m so sorry that is happening to you. Get out get out GET OUT!!!!

Get out of this relationship! I didn’t even finish reading this because the very first thing you said was an absolute blaring call to LEAVE. It’s not even a red flag, it’s completely unacceptable, disrespectful, and predatory behavior.

Uhhh.. I was reading this and I just kept thinking WTF!! Not caring about consent????? Not using a condom when you ask him to??????? GET OUT NOW!! This sounds so toxic and bad. Leave that guy

Abusive/ toxic. Get out and run now. I’ve been here and it only gets worse. :( good luck!

Omg I was in so much shock reading this. This guy is a hugeee red flag 🚩 This is terrifying that he doesn’t care about consent or even risking getting you pregnant. Please leave this guy before something bad potentially happens.

This person has straight up told you they’ve sexually assaulted you and they know exactly what they did (doing something sexual without your knowledge or consent and while you were drunk) and that they’d do it again. And you know he will do it again, why are you staying in a situation like this? Anyone doing anything sexual without your consent is sexual assault. Repeatedly pushing someone to do something they don’t want to, until they eventually give in is sexual coercion, a form of sexual assault. You feel disrespected because he IS openly and actively disrespecting you and what’s worse is he clearly is fully aware of what he’s doing. Obviously you don’t and can’t trust him, he is treating you like sh!t. You are NOT safe!!! You need to take these threats seriously!!!!!!!! This person has told you in multiple ways that they will assault you, GET OUT!!!! You are in a toxic, unhealthy and manipulative relationship, this is not what a relationship is supposed to be like

This is honestly very frightening and extremely concerning. You’re definitely NOT safe with this guy, a real man who respects you RESPECTS ALL YOUR BOUNDARIES AND THEN SOME‼️‼️‼️ you shouldn’t have to be constantly fearing he’ll do something else that will make you uncomfortable if anything he’s supposed to be your safe space which he’s proven countless times he is NOT.

A month later and finally ended things. Ended cuz I was honestly tired of how things were going and how issues I brought up were ignored. Didnt shed tears this time cuz I know better, but for now I shall keep on working on myself

@Irregularly_ proud of u ❤️

@Irregularly_ you 100% made the right decision. Proud of you too ❤️