Just need to vent again and get some advice. This is in regard to my last post about my ex. My ex and his mother after I broke it off with him and blocked him everywhere kept trying to reach out to me. His mom called me twice and text me twice, I blocked her on the messaging app on my phone, but somehow she was able to message me on WhatsApp. He called me from an unknown number and then another number and said hi (my name), it’s (his name). And I got scared and hung up and blocked him. It got to a point where I was getting so frustrated that I made my mom and his mom speak. After that conversation, for some reason, I felt compelled to send him a text yesterday and re-block him. Basically telling my side because it’s been three weeks. I regret doing this so much. He has now messaged me from two different numbers to tell me how terrible I am. I’m genuinely getting scared. I don’t think he would do anything, but he just keeps insulting me. His mother told me how much he wanted me back and how he keeps begging for me which is manipulative, as well. He kept calling before to get back together. I made clear and my message that I wasn’t. This was the first time I made any contact in three weeks. I definitely should not have. My question is at what point does this become unsafe? When am I allowed to file a restraining order? I’m going to continue to block him if he keeps reaching out to me the next couple weeks.

Take screenshots of everything. I’m not sure when exactly is the right time to file a restraining order, but if it continues I would gather all the evidence and submit a police report to have it on file. Then if it continues you can go back to them with the continued evidence of harassment and push for a restraining order. I’m not sure if that’s the right thing to do though.

@bluerose9 thanks for the advice. Why do you think it’s not the right thing to do? Do you think it’ll incite him?

The criteria you need to meet for a restraining order depends on the state/country you live in. Usually it needs to show evidence of abuse, threats or stalking. I agree with @bluerose9 about keeping a record of all the evidence. Is there a chance you could change your phone number?

@aUrielle I could. I don’t know if I’m there yet because I use my phone number for all my important things but if this continues, it will probably get to that point.

I do think you need to just completely ignore him from now on, no matter what happens. He might try and reach out for a bit still because he might have hope you will get back to him at some point, since you’ve done so before. I would give it another 2-3 weeks at most and if it doesn’t get better change your contact details. I get that you use it for important things but getting rest from this situation is important too and getting your phone number changed is just a temporary hassle.

@Yi_eune I’ll do that. I definitely got back when he relapsed the times before because he wasn’t being crazy or rude. Now he’s being insane. I think he’s still drinking according to his mother, so it’s a bit terrifying. At this point it’s a waiting game. I think he is trying to get me to say something back by being rude, because his mother and him were begging me to talk to him last week.

@Bananass any attention is attention. Best to just completely ignore anyone that tries to reach out to you on his behalf.