My partner (recently turned fiance) and I have had a major argument. I went out to our family friends’ house for a dinner and we were both invited. There were some other guests there who I spoke to for some time (one of them being a male) but I was with my best friend the entire time, surrounded by family. When I got up and walked towards my fiancé, he asked whether I was normal (sarcastically). On our way home, he yelled at me and told me to get out of the car because I spoke to the other male. I’m naturally a very outgoing person, and he is quite introverted and selective. We have always clashed in this regard. What do I do? I love him beyond words but I’m so scared that I’ll never be able to enjoy my life in peace.

Well I guess you need to talk to him, I mean, since you guys love each other, the best thing for both of you will be communication. Talk to him about it, tell him how much the whole situation is bothering you and how sad you feel about it. If he truly loves you, then he’ll try to find a way out and will probably have therapy due to his insecurity. I definitely relate to you ‘cause this is really not peaceful and surely tiring, especially when it comes to relationship, when both of them have to trust each other.

@Rosalya_ thank you so much for your response. I can’t even begin to explain how frustrating this is sometimes because I enjoy speaking to EVERYONE and getting to meet new people! He’s just so introverted and it makes me feel so uncomfortable sometimes… I hate feeling as though I’m walking on eggshells, you know? I’ll definitely have a conversation to address all of this.

No talking to him won't fix this, you need to end your engagement and run. This is toxic, controlling and abusive behavior. First of all not "allowing" you to talk to men is extremely controlling and shows his deep insecurities. There is absolutely nothing wrong with speaking to a man or having male friends. He was there the entire time too, so did he think you were flirting or going to cheat with that guy in front of everyone? Second, yelling at you and telling you to get out of the car?? That's abusive. That is not how you treat someone you love and care about. This is not an issue of you being outgoing while he is introverted. It's an issue of control. Please, please don't marry this person. It could easily get worse.

This is extremely concerning behaviour. Introvertedness is not a valid reason or justification to treat anyone this badly, this is stemming from his own insecurities and lack of trust in you. This person does not respect you either. Getting angry and yelling at you for having a normal conversation with someone is controlling, abusive and manipulate behaviour. At the very minimum you need to seriously reconsider getting married to this person. This kind of behaviour is only going to escalate. And this isn’t something that you can fix, he has serious issues to work on.

“I love him beyond words but I’m so scared that I’ll never be able to enjoy my life in peace” is a CRAZY statement. Your partner is supposed to add to your life, not take away your peace and happiness. Love alone cannot hold a relationship together. There’s a lot more that goes into making a healthy relationship work.

You can’t love someone into respecting you or treating you well. The fact you’re scared that you won’t be able to enjoy your life in peace is a HUGE blaring red flag in your face telling you that this is not the person for you. Don’t let your fears keep you in a situation you should not be in and a marriage will only solidly in his mind that you are his to do whatever he wants with.

If he acts like this because of someone you spoke to has a penis—you should rethink the whole relationship, your partner should never make you feel uncomfortable either when and if the love is to die out would you still want to stay with them???? Walking on eggshells when this is your fiancé is very much a huge red flag

@Happyhippo11 I can understand your fiance not being ok with you meeting with a guy 1-1 or talking with men who’s shown interest in you But having a conversation with a guy is completely normal and I think this stems from insecurity if I’m being completely honest It’s not healthy and you shouldn’t live your life this way

I was with a few guys like this before I got with my current partner. Is this something you’ve already discussed with him?? By the sounds of it, you’ve already addressed similar behavior considering you already clashed.…. My suggestion to you is NEVER to allow a man to speak to you like this, regardless of how much you love them, and to evaluate sincerely if this is something you want to live the rest of your life facing.

I think a good thing to do here is imagine if your best friend came up to you with this story. Would you tell them to talk it out? Be really honest here. You probably wouldn’t. You’d tell them they deserve better. There’s your answer.

@yi_eune 🫰🏾🫰🏾🫰🏾 that right there is some good a*ss advice

Thank you all for the great advice. It’s a very difficult decision to make, but I understand that it’s for the better. It hurts a lot, but you’re all right. Thanks again. X

Yeah that’s just beyond not okay to do that. What everyone else said it’s controlling, abusive and who knows could get worse. Cut your losses and you will be thankful you didn’t marry someone who made you feel this bad.