Asked my boyfriend for a break last night cause I'm not in a good place mentally and its hit a point where anything I say to him seems to cause a fight. After tons of fighting and me sobbing for hours, he says hes not someone who can do a break and it's not fair of me to ask him for a break when he'd "most likely cheat on [me] during it cause he's a very passionate and sexual man." Whether it's 6 months, 3 months, or even 1 month, he said he couldn't promise how things would turn out. So a break means we are done and he gave me until today to decide if I want to prove to him that I want to be with him or if I want that space. And he said "over my dead body will I beg you to stay with me" which I get not wanting to beg someone, I never asked for that, but that still hurt and I can't figure out completely why ...
So much happened last night and I feel so lost and confused. He brought up how he's the only guy I've been with who has actually wanted to help my mental health and I'm wondering if I'm giving up someone amazing. Cause he's right about that. I love him so much and I want to be with him but things have been so bad between us lately, I feel like I'm constantly walking on egg shells around him with what I say and if I'm having really bad depression or anxiety one day, I can't go to him cause he gets upset and says things like "I just want to have fun when I'm with you and this isn't fun" and such.
I seriously feel so lost right now. I don't want to give up this amazing guy but he also said some things just last night that broke me so bad ... I don't know what to do
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