My bf and I have been dating 4.5 years. We have been long distance the whole time. I am ready to move down to him for the next step because I am over the long distance. He says he is not ready for that yet and that is a permanent and forever commitment he isn’t 100% sure about. He does come visit me a lot and wants to be with me, so I am not sure what to do. Any suggestions?
3
Jan 5 02:59
Sounds like you’re not on the same page? Not sure there’s much you can do about that, either you both want to take the next step in your relationship (moving in/closer together) or not.
3
Jan 5 03:23
I think this could be a good way to have a larger conversation about your goals for the relationship. You could try asking him about if/ when he’d be open to moving in together, and letting him know if you are looking for those more permanent/ commitment oriented goals (moving in, marriage, etc.) It’s a scary convo! But I think knowing where each persons goals lie is the best first step, and that might help you decide what to do next
1
Jan 5 04:55
Personally I think 4.5 years is a long time to be long distance without any plan to move closer together. Moving is also not a permanent and forever commitment, not even marriage is technically, so I wonder where he is getting that idea from? I would talk to him about what it would look like for him to be ready for you guys to move in together. What does he need to happen for him to be comfortable with that? What are his reservations exactly?
