Recently LDR, but I feel like I am draining him Hi everyone. I don’t know where to start. Ummm I am 28F and my bf is 23M. I know issues started there at the age difference but I thought we would work it out anyway. I have been with this guy for 2 years, LDR close to 4 months. He is 5 hours behind me. We call every day during lunch time (for me) for a quick hi, and after work (for him) usually lasts one hour or more. These days, he does not look happy too much. I feel like I try to change the mood, but he’s not happy. I know people change, his face was naturally happy all the time. Even when he was not doing anything, his face was smiling. I don’t know how to describe it. His effort to call me every day is still there. He does call me everyday. I try asking him questions just to know what is going on, so we maybe can dive in and sort it out together.. but sometimes, it’s hard. Not sure if it’s the limited english for him. But I think he speaks fine because I do understand what he says. Anyway, I somehow feel like I am draining him sometimes for the way he talks to me. Everything feels negative even when I try to make him laugh, the reaction is like.. just gives off negative vibe. Sometimes, I feel like maybe he needs more break from me. But what basis? We have our own time throughout the day. Or maybe we should just give up on this. I have a strong faith in him, but this age difference sometimes makes me overthink! We both have our lives going when we are not talking. I always try my best to just let him do whatever he wants, thinking he’s still younger than me. And maybe he wants to explore more in life. Etc. he just started working, and I know how it goes with the working life. I don’t want to put much pressure on him, but also wants to be with him. I don’t know. I can’t be happy if he’s not happy with me T.T What should I do.

Have you told him what you said here? Is he aware of how much you feel this impacts the relationship and you?

@bluerose9 I always feel afraid and feel like every time I open a topic about us, it will become a burden to him. Especially during this time. How do I open up to him about this, without doing what I am scared of doing?

@Ayoomi i mean relationships are built on communication and cannot work without it. If you cannot communicate openly and honestly with him that’s a pretty serious issue. Talking about this is the only way to work through it. Not being honest with him and not saying how you feel is not fixing anything.

Is there a reason you think this issue may be based on your age difference? Has he said anything suggests that’s a problem for him? Do you also believe the age difference is a problem/source of problems in your relationship?

Is it the same relationship as this {SNDyevNd4} and your others? It sounds like you’ve had communication problems for months so if that hasn’t gotten better by now it never will. If you can’t talk to each other about things like this then it’s time to finally leave.

Bringing up issues in a relationship and sharing how you're feeling is a way to grow closer and build a stronger bond, it's not a burden. A good partner will be glad you shared what's on your mind and happy to clear up any misunderstandings.