Tw: boys and venting Why do i keep wanting to stay with him? I told myself Id leave him five months ago, then one month ago. And now hes ghosted me once again. I ask him why hes texted me “dont talk to me” and “so were done right” a day after to me. And he says what do you mean i never said that. So i ask him how he feels about us and what he feels like. And he just doesnt respond to my questions and instead says “so anything else you wanna talk about”. I just hate it man. Like i pick up on these red flags and i think ill just stay i wanna try to fix him, but maybe he doesnt want to be fixed or change. Ive cried over him too many times and i hate it. I keep getting hurt and used and manipulated and neglected but i somehow still want him? Or some explanation on his sudden change in behavior? But every time i ask he dismisses anything weird. Idk i thought about it could i just be attracted to toxic guys? A term i learned dismissive avoidant perhaps he could be that. Mb im a mess rn and just wanted to get this off my chest before i go to bed.

It sounds like you could greatly benefit from seeing a mental health professional. It’s good that you’ve recognized these signs and patterns of yours, and it’s now important to diagnose/treat them so that you can work on them. As for your current relationship, you need to just end things. You said it yourself, this is toxic and it’s not healthy for either of you. Cut all contact, see a mental health professional, and prioritize your own health/happiness.

It's hard to leave toxic people because we get attached to them and very often their behavior is manipulative and gets our brain addicted to scraps of attention or the emotional rollercoaster of the relationship. It's not your job to "fix" anyone and keep in mind that you need to create your own closure. You're not going to get a satisfactory explanation or accountability from him so it's time to stop seeking that and find closure on your own terms.

Sigh, he said he doesnt want to continue a relationship with me and that I deserve someone better and he wants whats best for me. I lowkey have always thought I did but i liked him too much to leave. Its whatever now i guess, i just wished hed told me sooner and when i brought up what we can do to help mend it he said no, and he doesnt plan on getting back together. Now im upset at how easily he can do a 180, literally last week he told me he loves me. He laughs at the idea of us being together again. Ahh i feel made fun of,

Now it’s over I think it’s time to focus on yourself and find out exactly what’s causing you to stay in an unhealthy environment for so long. Why did you feel the need to fix him? Those type of questions. Therapy can help with this if you’re interested in finding out and working on yourself not to fall back in those habits.