how do I stop being resentful towards my best friend?
so this is quiet a long story, please bear with me.
Around 2 years ago I told my best friend that I wanted to go to uni to do biomedical laboratory sciences. She at the time did an apprenticeship in the same field. Back then she was fully against me going to uni for that, saying just because I‘ll go to uni I wont make more money then her or be better at the job. I was sensing a bit of jealousy on her side and she said some really mean things back then but I just kinda brushed it off. Last year we had a bit of fight because of my boyfriend (I get the sense she doesn‘t approve of him) and said some really mean things about him and my relationship. Bare in mind that my partner is a walking green flag, he treats me with so much respect, is gentle and very understanding and I‘ve never been happier in a relationship, and she knows that.
Now forward to today: I saw her in december and she told me she will enroll in uni for the same programm as I‘m doing, even tho she bashed me for applying. I‘m really happy for her but it somehow made me wonder why shes acting like this towards me. Since the falling out and everything I don‘t feel the need to see her, I mostly cancel plans with her because I just dont need that type of energy right now. How do I make this stop? Shes my best friend, she was always there for me but she‘s acting weird around me and we cant even have a normal conversation anymore. Plus i feel really resentful somehow and I dont know if I‘m overreacting or if this is really as bad as I think it is. I tried talking to her about my feelings but back then she gaslit me, saying if I have problems I should just tell her immediately and not wait around because she cant change it anymore (which i totally see, but shes really mean when shes mad so I can not confront her immediately). I truly dont know what to do anymore.
