I need advice!!!! Would you still want to be with your boyfriend if you guys was on a break for a couple of weeks due to you both arguing so much and doing long distance. Then once you see him in person, you go through his phone and found out he has been talking to another girl while you guys was on break. Would you get back with him and try to work it out?

If you’ve been arguing there’s probably a reason. That definitely needs some resolution before consideration of getting back into a relationship.

Did you set specific boundaries about the break?

Personally if I was in your situation I wouldn’t get back with him. I would find it disrespectful towards me.

Did you talk about boundaries of the break? If you didn’t then you can’t really be too upset as breaks mean different things to people and you can’t hold that against him. However back to the question: The fact that you’ve gone through his phone means you don’t trust him and I simply wouldn’t be with someone I didn’t trust.

I mentioned in the past about breaks and what shouldn’t happen but the time we actually did a break I didn’t say boundaries because I thought he knew due to our conversations in the past.

The fact that you went through his phone shows you don't trust him so you probably shouldn't be with him. Can't have a relationship without trust When you went on this break did you set boundaries because if you didn't then you can't hold it against him ... But like I said you went through his phone so it really doesn't matter because you clearly don't trust him

If you guys did not agree to specific boundaries during the break he may not have even known he was doing anything wrong. There needed to be clearer communication about what the break involves. Also if I were your boyfriend I'd end things for going through my phone, imo that's just as serious a violation as talking to other girls.

Well if you don’t actually set boundaries how can you really be mad at him for talking to someone? Also going through his phone to try to see if you can find any proof of anything during the break is not okay.

It’s never okay to go through someone’s phone, it’s like going through someone’s diary. It shows that you don’t trust him and I think you should break up fully as he’s shown he isn’t loyal to you.

@Kep_31 sounds like you guys didn’t communicate. You don’t trust him though so I’d just move on in the first place.

The fact you went through his phone says you have no trust in him and you should end the relationship.

First of all I think it’s MESSED up you went through his phone. Other than that, communication is key, and if you guys didn’t communicate boundaries, then that’s a problem. Even though you assumed them, he didn’t even though y’all talked about it. I wouldn’t get back with him, I’d be nervous about “breaks” happening again with no boundaries

Seeing as you’re going through his phone it’s clear you don’t trust him or respect his privacy so that’s a red flag as those are needed for a relationship to work. Aside from that though, have you guys actually communicated about the issues in your relationship and have decided how you’re going to work on making the relationship better? As breaks don’t magically fix issues. As for the talking to other girls thing I don’t really think the boundary was communicated properly so I don’t really think what he did was bad. Overall it sounds like there’s lots of issues in this relationship so you’re probably better just ending it x

You couldn’t have expected him to know what the boundaries were that you wanted without actually telling him. He didn’t do anything wrong if nothing was really discussed. It’s a red flag that you went through his phone, that’s a violation of his privacy. There is no relationship without trust, and if for whatever reason you can’t trust him, then the relationship won’t work.