So I never really ask for reassurance but last night I was needing it. My bf has been going through a rough patch for a couple months now with his job and his gpa passing away. The stress is noticing and I try to do everything to help. I also always check in to see if I could help somehow. But I can’t help but ask if we are okay? He hasn’t really talked about the future like he did in the past with me. So I asked “ is our relationship contributing to the stress at all?” And he said “no not at all”. Then I said “you don’t really talk about our future much anymore, I get it from you being stressed and having other things on your mind” and he said “yeah I guess I’m trying to handle one thing at a time”. What does that even mean? As in yeah he doesn’t really see me in the future? Or he’s trying to handle his job stress and grandpa passing away first? (He’s not a great communicator over text)

I don’t think you need to constantly talk about the future. I personally think from what you’ve said he’s coming across as pretty clear. He said your relationship is not contributing to his stress and he said he’s handling one thing at time which i would assume is exactly what you said, he’s currently just focusing on his job and his family before worrying about anything else. You might just have to wait for him to get through this rough patch, there’s not much you can really do other than just being there for him. Is there anything you want to happen in your relationship soon? Like are you thinking of bringing up moving in with him or something like that? Is there a reason why you don’t believe what he’s saying?

I think it’s because I have a tough time when patterns or consistency changes. I notice it and then have anxiety on why it isn’t the same. In this situation, the patterns was talking about the future.

@emotal If you think about it though there is no relationship that is still the same as when it started, relationships have seasons good and bad, ups and downs. Maybe you should see a therapist about this relationship the anxiety, especially when people grieve differently.

@Emotal I would also recommend therapy.