Hi girls. So I just need someone’s opinion. Me and my boyfriend started dating almost 4 years ago. And the first 2 weeks of our relationship I went to a Halloween party. There was a guy there that I ghosted when I was single and apologized when I saw him that night, I felt like I was maybe flirting a little bit with him but nothing at all physically happened. And we didn’t even talk the next day or anything (of course I don’t remember much of the conversations as it was 4 years ago LOL) anyways I felt like there was flirting involved. I remembered this the other day and thought I should tell my boyfriend about it. I told him “I felt like I was overly friendly with this guy at the party but nothing physical happened” and he was a bit upset didn’t really ask much to it. Now, I feel like maybe I shouldn’t have used the term overly friendly and now it’s eating at me. Should I say it was flirting or the way I said it made it the same thing pretty much.. I’m a huge overthinker

There was no need to tell him in the first place. Were you even exclusive 2 weeks into dating? You did nothing wrong and I don't see why what happened 4 years ago matters now anyway.

^ I agree i don’t that you did anything wrong and that there was no need to share it. It clearly wasn’t a big deal if you forgot about it for 4 years

@aurielle yeah I know, people were telling me to just leave it since nothing happen anyways. I just felt like I was a bit flirty that night but never saw the guy since and we were officially 2 weeks in. The only reason I remember it now was because the guy tried to following me on Instagram and it just made the spark thought in my head of “oh yeah i definitely flirted that night with this guy” and just felt like I disrespected him that day @bluerose9

So I thought to mention it, but nothing happened physically at all, just felt a bit flirty at that time, do you think the way I mentioned it to my boyfriend just now was a good way of saying it? @bluerose9 @bluerose9

Meh u was in the wrong im sure u wouldn’t like it if he did that and u should of told him but yeah

@Pikachu2003 yeah, I told him I was overly friendly that night with the guy some banter but nothing physically went on. He knows now

I think it was pointless to even mention it and I think there has to be a deeper issue either with you or with your relationship for you to be worrying about this years later. When I was in an abusive controlling relationship I would worry about any interaction I had with men and if they could be misconstrued as being flirty or I worried about if I actually was flirting with other men. In a normal healthy relationship you don’t worry about these things.

@maeve_ this isn’t always true, I have had the same worries as OP about past things I’ve done. My anxiety is about being the most honest girlfriend possible because I just… don’t ever want my partner to be blindsided by anything I do. I relate to her worries, but my partner is polar opposite from controlling. He’s never once questioned anything I do, any person I hangout with, what time I get home, nothing. I think it’s just a personal thing where maybe she has expectations of herself or idk, anxiety is a seriously messy feeling, sometimes for no good reason.

@falafels_ that’s why I said there’s either a deeper issues with OP or with the relationship.

@maeve_ @falafels_ yeah I struggle with it personally with extreme anxiety as well as ptsd from my last toxic relationship where I lied a lot and things from the past came up so I just wanted to be a better gf by telling him everything especially years into the relationship when we’re super serious compared to 3 years ago starting out

Don’t think there was any need to mention it. I get the theory of complete transparency and honesty but it can sometimes create a problem where there isn’t one bc the partner starts overthinking and questioning why their SO even told them this story from years ago and there must be more to it. I would def recommend trying to address these feelings / worries directly!!

@Grazydol8 yes, I completely agree, I feel like it was maybe because I was drinking that night and it was so long ago I started to overthink the situation. This is definitely a personal thing I need to work on